Lammas, from a solitary view

I find myself hungry for interpersonal religious fellowship.

You can only get so much from books or e-lists or blogs or on your own… sometimes you need to bounce off of the ideas and experiences of others as you travel your path. Not that I do not welcome the inspiration and connection through books or blogs or e-mail or lists and forums but sometimes you need to travel a path with others to truly appreciate it or to make it through.

This Lammas, even as I work on my writing projects and school projects and take care of my work life, I realize I am on a religious level feeling lonely. I am seeking fellowship.

I wish, indeed I think at this point I need, to share my journey with others for a while. To share in Circle, and Ritual, and Gnosis, and Magick. In someways this fellowship is something I’ve chased for a long time as a Pagan and Witch. I have circled with others on the occasional holiday, and occasionally shared ritual in both public and private with others. I have worked with others to build Pagan Community, and most times I loved doing it.

I’ve been lonely on Holidays before… like so many others Yule is a classic example.. when I lived alone I would come home from visits with family and friends and feel just a little bit of a downer at not having someone to share my feelings and thoughts with…

On the one hand though I have my Partner. He and I are of different faiths though, so as much as we can talk about and share of our experiences we are not necessarily sharing the experience…

A Coven is notoriously hard to find… and I wonder if after all my years as a Solitary I am going to ever find a Circle to fit in to and that feels like the right fit for me. There is the stumbling block of not much in the way of time that is my own until the new year, and of being relatively new to Orlando and Florida.

Still I am feeling a pull, or perhaps a push, to seek after fellowship and growth and community and some new transformation or development in my religious and spiritual life.

~Not so long ago I prayed to Hecate to guide me on the cross roads paths in my life. I feel almost as if I am standing at a cross-roads with Her Lantern shining out into a thick fog of the unknown… I need to pick a direction and start walking, but I have no idea what direction to take. There is the part of me that desperately wants to be pointed in ‘THE RIGHT” direction… and yet another part of me is wondering if there really is such a thing. After all whatever path I take will be the right one if I accept the lessons I learn along the way and use those already learned.~

I need to meditate, and sleep, and contemplate the possibilities…

Wherever you are in the path of your life, I wish you a happy and joyous Lammas may you share in a Harvest of love and laughter this holiday!


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