Key 12 ~ The Hanged Man

Upright ~ In spiritual maters, wisdom, prophetic power. A pause in one’s life, suspended decisions. Self-surrender leads to transformation of the personality. Material temptation is conquered.

Reversed ~ Arrogance, preoccupation with the ego, resistance to spiritual influences. Absorption in physical matters. Wasted effort. False prophecy.

Sideways ~ Me…for now…

I was walking my dog this morning pondering my life recently and some of the decisions I’ve been making and my own feelings about my graduation in December and my future. The image of Hanged Man of the Tarot came to mind.

I grew up in a dysfunctional family. My mom was an alcoholic who, the family now realizes with 20/20 hindsight years after her passing, probably suffered from depression for many years. I spent a lot of my 20’s trying to sort things out. Trying to sort out myself from the family dynamic I grew up in. It is odd how you can think you’ve dealt with something when you haven’t; or have only dealt with pieces of it, or perhaps merely some of the symptoms.

Sometimes I am quite capable of self-defeating and even self-destructive behavior because on some level even an unbalanced status-quo is safer than change. Change can always bring something worse… Not a healthy mindset, to say the least. But this too is a part of me. The voice of doubt. I remember talking with a dear friend and fellow Pagan, whose own childhood was a much rougher path than my own, about the mis-trust of happiness. Having to club down the serpent of suspicion in ones own mind and soul that in the face of happiness lies waiting for the other shoe to drop.

As a Witch, I know this image coming to my mind is a sign. I need to delve into this symbol, and these qualities. I need to wrestle with the serpent of suspicion within me. I need to hang The Hanged Man upside down, so he is upright once more. The Hermit, and Hecate come to my mind. Both hold lanterns, both lighting the way to something else. Both leading the way through the wilderness, through the troubled night and into the light of a new day. Part of my seeking must be to seek after this, to learn of balance from the Hanged Man.

Peace, and may Hecate shine a light on your own path…

Pax