So a lot has happened in the last several weeks.
My car died in the middle of July and I am in the process of hunting down a new one, or rather another one. Someday I’ll get a new car, right now I’m happy to settle for a reliable used car. I have been using the LYNX public transit system here in the Orlando area and what was a 20-30 minute commute has been transformed into a roughly 2 hour commute. My days have grown longer and more hectic as I try to keep up with my commitments while relying on the bus system. Averaging 18 hour days and 4 or 5 hours of sleep a night has left me exhausted.
I am also grateful. This has been a challenge and has reminded me that I am stronger than I may give myself credit for. Able to face the challenges presented to me and to adjust myself to them.
I have also recently accepted a job offer a little closer to my home as a shift manager at a fast food place. Slightly better pay, more hours, and a chance to be learning and growing in my restaurant management career. These are good things, yet I am also facing the reality of being more closeted about both my Craft and my Orientation.
There was a time I would have balked at this, a lot, but I just as comming out is a continual process it is also a conscious one. One must choose to come out for oneself, at the right time. I can see know that sometimes there is not a good time or place in ones worklife for this decision. Then the choice must be made to either stay closeted or change ones circumstances.
For now, in order to grow in my career, I choose to stay closeted. Perhaps I have read the situation wrong, or understimated me new/future co-workers, but for now I choose caution. Besides there is a certain wisdom in the old fashioned advice “don’t talk about politics or religion” (or matters in the bedroom).
Lammas has come and gone and I did not find the energy or time to honor the holiday except in my own heart. Yet this harvest has brought some changes and growth. It has brought reminders of my own inner strength and resourcefulness; reminders, also, of the many folks who love and support me – my many far-flung friends and family.