Holding my breath at a cross-roads

I have held back from a lot of things in the last year.  Persuing job opportunities, speaking (or writing) my mind here, I have held back from working magick and prayer for fear of failure … or more accurately dissapointment.  I am realizing, though, that holding oneself back is no way to live ones life.

Especially as a Witch and a U.S. citizen I know from the lessons of History and Life, that nothing good is not worth fighting for!  If I am to continue to enjoy my Freedoms of Religion and Speech, then I need to excercise them with every fiber of my being and every moment of my day.

Samhaintide has brought with it the U.S. Presidential elections.  My partner, The Big Guy (6’8″ tall and a husky Wisconsin lad), and I have actually talked about the idea of moving to Canada if McCain and Palin win…

I have written elsewhere on this blog about Religio Americana and my love of Country.  I voted early.  I have tried to stay informed, but I have hesitated to speak out, to put more energy into supporting Obama and the Democrats.  Partly my poverty has interferred with my ambitions, in this as in so many other things.

I spent a lot of time last night thinking about the idea of emigrating away in the face of tyrrany and corruption I see present in the current administration and any possible Republican successors.  Mind you a few years ago I saw myself as more of an old-school Barry Goldwater conservative… the times, they are a-changin.  As a gay man, and a Pagan, a McCaine/Palin America is a scary and potentially deadly place for me and my beloved.

The Big Guy and I discuss moving, and mostly I am willing.  I am tired of waiting for equality, for justice, for fairness.

There is, however, that part of me that has pledged alliegance to the Flag and the Country for which it stands… the part of me that is heir to the Great Work of Democracy wrought so many years ago in Philladelphia, the part of me who is the beneficiary of the sacrifices made at Valley Forge, at Bull-Run, at Verdun, and at the Bulge; the part of me whose very life and freedom were secured by the dead at Arlington…

That part of me says, “No.”

The Founding Fathers were willing to live and die for the cuase of Democracy, of Freedom.  So many soldiers gave given of their safety and security and even their lives for this Nation.  I am not willing to give up on the United States.

I know that the U.S. has not always lived up to the ideals set forth in our founding documents, our nation has had mighty growing pains and fought a bloody civil war in working towards those ideals.  I believe, with all my heart, that now, in a time of dire threats, is NOT the time to set aside these ideals in the service of expediency.  I know that Extraordinary Rendition, and secret trials, would sicken and disgust the founding fathers, and mothers.

I pray, tonight, that I will not have to make a decision about moving, that Lady Liberty may shine her torch and illuminate in the hearts and minds of us all the best path to Truth and Justice, that our Nation may be led by a man of honor and integrity and not one who seems to be guided by the same spirit of expediency guiding the current regime.



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