“Haeresis est maxima, opera maleficarum non credere” ~Malleus Maleficarum
(The greatest of all heresies is the disbelief in witchcraft)
“My goal is to always come from a place of love, but sometimes I just have to break it down for a motherfucker.” ~RuPaul
“Character contributes to beauty. It fortifies a woman as her youth fades. A mode of conduct, a standard of courage, discipline, fortitude, and integrity can do a great deal to make a woman beautiful.” ~Jacqueline Bisset
…(although with all due respect to the ever wonderful Ms. Bisset, I’d say the same holds true for men as well ~ Geoffrey)
“Keep pure your highest ideal; strive ever towards it;
let nothing stop you or turn you aside.”
~From The Charge of the Goddess by Doreen Valliente
“The emotional health of a village depended upon having a man whom everyone loved to hate, and Heaven had blessed us with two of them.”
— Barry Hughart (Bridge of Birds: A Novel of an Ancient China That Never Was)
“Science is a method of talking about the Universe in terms that bind it to a common reality. Magick is a way of speaking to the Universe in words that it cannot ignore.” –Neil Gaiman
“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” — Marilyn Monroe
“Don’t be pushed by your problems…be lead by your dreams” ~ Unknown
“In the Midst of Winter, I finally learned there was in me an invincible Summer.” ~ Albert Camus
“The care of human life and happiness, and not their destruction, is the first and only legitimate object of good government.” ~ Thomas Jefferson
(NOTE: There is, at best, dark irony embodied in this quote given it’s source was a slave-holder. The sentiment remains true however. It is only by confronting the complexity and truths and folly’s and tragic failings of the past that we are able to learn from it move forward from it and appropriately engage with it and with our Ancestors and their legacies.)
“Men of genius are admired, men of wealth are envied, men of power are feared; but only men of character are trusted.” ~ Alfred Adler
“There is nothing in which people more betray their character than in what they laugh at.” ~ Goethe
“Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth.”
— Franklin D. Roosevelt
“Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to grow strong by conflict.”
-William Ellery Channing
“It is not the critic who counts, nor the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows great enthusiasms, great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”
– Theodore Roosevelt
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else, is the greatest accomplishment.” – Emerson
Chrysalis 
You have good instincts, Pax! I don’t think it’s ever a good idea to make major life-changing decisions during an emotional upheaval. It doesn’t hurt to wait until things settle down again.
Thank you, again! (And very true btw…)
When a friend is hurting my first response is to want them close – thus the whole “move here” responses, possibly?
Possibly and Probably,
Then too there IS the fact that the me of 3 to 5 years ago would have been more prone to total emotional collapse and deep angst in the same situation!
…Growing up is SUCH an adventure!!
“wheee.”
Adventure it is!
It doesn’t say ‘pain-free’ anywhere on the label.
Remember to brethe, and don’t lose sight of your still point.
Love,
Terri in Joburg
I’m sure the friends asking you this and offering you alternatives are well-meaning. However, like you, I just can’t picture myself making any sudden life-changing decisions right away under your circumstances.
The only time I’ve done anything close to that was when I broke up with my ex and moved two months later. However, the two choices were explicitly intertwined at the time. I was already contemplating the move due to other factors in my life and the only thing holding me back was the relationship. So when I placed the question to my boyfriend at the time and he made it clear that the relationship wasn’t going anywhere in the foreseeable future, I broke things off and moved ahead.
But like I said, that’s fairly different. I was already contemplating such major changes. The breakup was merely a natural part of the decision-making process. And I still took a couple months off before looking for the job that would result in the move.
Know your friends love and support you, that they are tempted to try to Fix It, that they can’t do your work for you. Natural processes take nature’s time. Take time for grief, take time for discernment.