I take a deep breath in, in through my nose with the air and inspiration. The air that connects me to all living things, drinking in the wise words and prayers of the world…. and the car exhaust and cussing, but part of the spiritual path of a Witch and part of Magic is knowing what to focus on and what to allow into your deepest heart and mind and soul…
I breathe deeply, in through the nose and out through my mouth, the tip of my tongue touches the roof of my mouth and tastes the breath of life that I breathe. I try to focus on my out-breath, as I had read about from one of my Teachers… one of my Books… there’s the rub, books have always been my closest and first teachers. Not that I haven’t found other Witches and Spiritual Traveler’s to share tales and wisdom with, but a lot of that sharing and wisdom has been at a distance, through books and then websites and blogs and podcasts as I find very, very far-flung folk that I find I know and trust.
Opening my heart with honesty and integrity as I try to the best I can with this lifetime of mine.
I breathe in, I breathe out. I am thinking
….taste the breath of life… breathing, breathing out….
I sit cross-legged on the floor, hands cupped upward in the bowl of my lap. That is how I sit when on the floor lately, trying to be open, receptive…. different from the “throne” posture I adopt when I meditate seated in a chair, feet flat on the floor and hands palms down on my knees and back straight, strong and self contained….
Thinking….
….breathing in, breathing out….
“open” and “enthroned” the need for balance… I roll my neck and am reminded of the need to expand my practice to include physical as well as metaphysical exercise… tomorrow I tell myself, always tomorrow…
…back to the breath of life…
Then of course theres the balance of living and engaging in a community like the one I find at Church, definitely the direction of a welcoming and afirming place for my spiritual growth and to make new friends… with out diving in too wildly and getting over whelmed…. *sigh* … releasing a little extra bit of tension? fear? doubt? well, something anyway as I return to breathing out…
I breathe in, I breath out,
I breathe the Breath of Life,
I breathe the whispers of the leaves of the trees,
I breathe the sighs of forlorn lovers across the sea,
I breathe with the singers of hymns from across the many lands,
I breathe the prayers for peace from far off places,
I breathe in the perfume of the decadent flowers and pleasure gardens of the world,
I breathe in, I breathe out,
And, I return to the Breath of Life.
Chrysalis 
Yeah, it’s that damned *thinking* that gets me every time!
Love,
Terri in Joburg
Heh,
In the Asian cultures they talk about the Monkey Mind, swinging from thought to thought as a monkey swings from tree to tree. My friends and I back in Alaska, many of us were blessed and professionally diagnosed with A.D.D., would refer to our selves as the Raven clan… in reference to the Raven’s love of shiny objects…
So do you find that your journey back to breath and just being from “thinking” is shorter with practice? I tend to wander a bit mentally, but it seems like as I have tried to maintain my practice that the mental wanderings is, if not quicker, more…productive or insightful?
Love, Peace, and Curiosity,
Pax
Yes, it does get easier/quicker/shorter, Pax. With practise.
Love,
Terri in Joburg
What about the more productive part? It really does seem like lately when I sit, I find that the thoughts that do bubble up are a lot more on point to my life and revelatory to stuff I need to work on, with, or around.
What’s your experience of this?
I’ve always found meditation so difficult – all I feel is discomfort and aching =(. But I really love your prayer/prose at the end, is it yours or someone elses?
Hey Haley,
It’s one of my own. I am trying to be open to my own creative spark, actually I am trying to be open to everything that nurtures and nourishes my soul.
Is it simply physical discomfort or some emotional stuff you feel when you seek to meditate?
Either way you might want to keep trying. A lot of times meditation is sitting there despite the mind and body’s many ways of distracting us from stillness and silence. Meditation isn’t about tuning out the world, becoming one with your breath, and sitting in the hand of God…
… well it can be, or so I’ve been told…
…but it’s also about just white knuckling it trying to maintain your blessed focus on your friggin’ breath for even a couple of minutes, sometimes.
Sometimes it’s simply breathing deep and clearing your mind for a moment to just be entirely present in your body in the now, even with aches and pains. Sometimes it’s being there when you start feeling all sort of uncomfortable or difficult emotions and thoughts and feelings, and remaining in stillness and silence, and accepting that those “negative” feelings are a part of you in the moment and then returning to your breath.
If you haven’t already read it Pema Chodron’s When Things Fall Apart it has some fantastic guidance on meditation and spiritual practice!! Ordinary Magic: Everyday Life as Spiritual Practice edited by John Welwood also has some great essays on the topic.
And keep sitting, give yourself about 10 minutes a day every day to try and sit and meditate…
Perhaps as you practice you will find small realizations popping up about your discomfort and aching. That sort of thing happens to me a lot where I will be sitting trying to focus on my breathing and some useful and shiny thought or idea will pop up… I will smile, file it away for later, and return to my breathing, or try to anyway…
And let’s face it for folks who are supposed to be all holistic and body positive and all that jazz we Pagans can sometimes be really out of touch with our bodies, so if the discomfort and ache is more physical, talk to a health care professional about it!!
Peace,
Pax
You know, a few years back now, I did attend a buddhist centre in the summer for weekly session about Spirituality and Art, and before every session we did 15 mins meditation. It was sooooooo hard the first session, but the next one was wonderful. I really felt like I had benefitted from it. Then the next week was terrible . .then the next wonderful . . . and it carried on like this for about 8 weeks! How strange, lol. But when it did go well, I felt really peaceful and replenished. But when the course ended and I didn’t have anyone sitting there MAKING me do it, I gave it up. My Ego convinced me that I could live without it, damned thing.
Perhaps I will take up 10 mins a day . . . I’m on half term break from work at the moment, so I guess I could try it for this period at least. I’ll let you know how it goes!
Specifically for meditation….
When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times
By Pema Chodron (gosh I’ve been recommending that a lot lately, but its a fantastic and wise book of essays with some very useful and specific instructions on meditation…)
For General Spiritual Practice and self work (which from your blog I gather you’re working on….)
Kissing the Limitles, by T. Thorn Coyle.
Peace,
Pax