(names have been changed to protect, well, ME!)
Incubus: “______ has just informed me she’s a Priestess, of ~The Celtic Religion~….“
Pax: (blink, blink) “Am I to take it from your tone that she isn’t referring to some sort of Celtic Reconstructionism?”
Incubus: (shaking head sadly) “No, no she is not.”
Pax: (sighs) “I see….”
~~~~~~
My Older Brother S___ visiting my Dad and I one day enters my room, takes a look at something on my books shelf and begins to shake his head.
S___: “Oh, Geoff…Geoffrey, (disappointed sigh) I can’t believe your involving yourself with such… paganism.”
Since I had been out as a Pagan for a while and it was MY bookshelf I looked up at him confused.
Pax: “S____, you’re going to have to be a little more specific. There’s actually a whole lot of Paganism on that bookshelf. What is it you’re objecting to exactly?”
He proceeds to pick up a copy of the Book of Mormon, of all things, that I had gotten for free from some missionaries on campus at U.U.A. and was reading out of curiosity. And give me a worried and ashamed look, as only a student of our Father’s could.
Pax: “There’s surprisingly little begetting, all things considered.”
~~~
Pax: “What’s wrong?”
Nightbird: “So at the property I work at there are these rent paying bottom feeders who think they’re Witches and have figured out that I’m one and now they think that we have some sort of special connection, and their apartment is a nasty…. Pax, I mean NASTY. They keep complaining about how there’s something not right and bad vibes and I’m like ‘why don’t you try cleaning it?’ and they are all ‘well we tried burning some sage…’ yeah, sage… or something….and I’m ‘No, I mean cleaning, like with a vacuum and a mop and a shovel? And try NOT having 7 people in a 2 bedroom apt….’ and they get all offended and scuttle off.”
Pas: (Gasps as the lighting of inspiration floods his warped mind) “Do all of the apartments have individual air ducts,.separate from each other?!”
Nightbird: (smiling curiously) “Yeah, why?”
Pax: (chuckling evilly) “Well, have maintenance go in while everyone’s out and put some strobe effect in some of the lights and a hidden camera and speakers and a fog machine. The next time they are trying to be Witchy hit the strobe and the fog and have this scary ass voice coming at them from all directions ‘GEEEEHT OUUUUWT….’, better yet wait till they’ve ‘smudged’ to do it.”
Nightbird: (smiling delightedly and clapping her hands together in front of her like a delighted child on Christmas morning as the fierce fires of unholy glee glow within her eyes) “Our Head of Maintenance is an ex Theater Tech….this could work! Pax I love you!”
Chrysalis 
Okay, I’m just imagining your bookshelf, which I’m guessing looks a lot like mine only moreso. And your brother decides to get disturbed over the BoM?!?! That’s just too funny.
And I love the way your mind thinks regarding the problematic tenants.
The Book shelf is definitely an interesting and eclectic mix, it was especially so at that time since all of my books were on one… now a days I need at least one tall one and a could of short ones…. I yearn to have my house lined with bookshelves.
As for dealing with troublesome tenants, some of that comes from Nightbird, who is my long lost evil twin…. we timeshare a sense of humor. And meeting organizers have learned NOT to seat us together.
Once upon a time I knew a gal who started calling herself a witch because she watched Practical Magic.
Her idea of “cleansing her home” involed a Ouija board and a lot of drugs.
Seems to be a theme.
Yeah, I’ve known a few of those “oh, drugs help me get in touch with my blah, blah….” types…. Although I must admit I’d like to know how the Ouija board came into it. Seems to me like that could only bring in more otherworldly stuff rather than cleaning it out….
In her mind, cleansing a home was on par with a seance or something. She fully imagined herself going to battle with all the evil nasties of the astral with her ouija board in between bong hits.
When I suggested actually cleaning her home with a broom and some bleach, and not watching the movie Poltergeist while high – it didn’t go well.
It rarely does with that sort!
The Quotable Brother:
S____ when directed to this post had the following observation…
“I don’t remember the conversation, but it sounds like me. I was probably deeply concerned over the possibility that you were engaged in idolatrous worship… of Joseph Smith that is. Any faith which bars not only wine but coffee as well must be deeply flawed. “
“Any faith which bars not only wine but coffee as well must be deeply flawed” is totally awesome.