Trying to Neither feel the hatred, Nor let it flow through me…

Dear Friends,

I am making a list and checking it twice!

A) Midnight

B) Black Goat

C) A Three-Legged Cross-Roads

Of course I am kidding about the goat, I really don’t have anyone else to share the meat with nor do I have any earthly idea how to quickly and painlessly slaughter an animal.  (well as painlessly as you can slaughter something anyway…)

I am however pissed. (as in incandescently angry, not as in drunk off my arse…)

Someone I trusted has betrayed me.  A friend, a darn good friend, a friend who has been in rather desperate financial and medical straits as of late; a friend whom I helped get a job at the No-tell where I work.  I served as a reference for him.  I personally campaigned with my manager for him.  I went out of my way to help him, as he was one of the first friends I found after The Big Guy dumped me.  He and his partner helped me move from the Big Guy’s place into my current digs.

Said, I suppose former, friend has been let go in the last few days for the first of at least 2 incidents of embezzlement and credit-card fraud over the course of a few months.  It also appears he may also have been pilfering cash since very early on in his employment.    My manager has repeatedly assured me that this does not reflect on me… she is still interested in training me for management duties, and based on my knowledge of her I believe her.

Him, on the other hand… I have been muttering a LOT of dark shit about him…

“May The Earth refuse to stand still beneath his feet,

May the Waters refuse to quench his thirst,

May the Fires refuse to warm his flesh,

May the Winds refuse to cool his brow.”

And before anyone lectures me about it I have already explained my take on the Three-fold Law and Harm Ye None and other things here, and quite frankly I am only asking that he be unsettled and discomforted… I may just keep doing so until he is jailed then he shall get mercy.  He has violated my trust and friendship, and had he ever made an oath to me I would have the Eumenides on the speed dial!

It was one thing when I only knew of one, recent, incident.  It could be chalked up to a stupid, horrible, mistake made in desperation.  When it’s a pattern of behavior stretching back months however… then it becomes an active betrayal.  I am pissed.  BUT, I am trying to productively vent without irrevocably DOING anything, while still productively DOING something.

I did toy with the idea of cursing his family 3 generations in each direction until he begged for my forgiveness and did right by me and the company… (did I mention I lettered in Theater in High School?  How about the temper?!)…. I even did a little writing… just to see how the wording might work… BUT AGAIN I haven’t actually DONE anything, in that direction!!!!

IF there were a good three-legged cross-roads around here I would be having a good heart to whatever with Hecate sometime soon… sadly my area of Orlando is rather lacking in Numinous places.  Not that She can’t be reached through other means, but sometimes it’s nice to simply walk to a place of power call on the Gods and experience the Holy Terror and the Ecstasy as you state your case before the Holy Powers.

Now I shall go get ready for bed, enjoy a little light reading, and perchance to dream dark dreams,

Yours in Peace and War,

Pax

3 thoughts on “Trying to Neither feel the hatred, Nor let it flow through me…

  1. Ah my Dearest Pax!

    So sorry you have to deal with this. I’ve been there. It sucks.

    I’ve always said that the true Witches Law is Justice. We serve it, and sometimes we must be the hand by which it works in this world.

    Of course, I also majored in Theatre and some years back I created a spell heavily inspired by Medea.

    *hugs*

    ~ V

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