Not something I am good at or have much practice with.  Not that I’m against the idea mind you, it’s just not how I was raised?  Grudge-holding would be much more in my family tradition.  Unhealthy, to be sure, but familiar.

I am working on some issues of forgiveness.

There are some folks of my acquaintance whom I must have dealings with on a fairly regular basis whom I mistakenly placed my trust and friendship with.  They are not bad people necessarily, they just don’t particularly care about anyone outside of their own little clique.   My wariness of them is limiting me in some respects, in some of my social circles, and I want to move past what has passed; yet at the same time I am not ready to trust them.  So emotionally I am in tender and tricky waters…

It may seem odd to propose forgiveness without trust, but though related I believe they are separate threads within our lives.  Forgiveness is letting go of what has passed.  Trust is opening our deepest, and often vulnerable, selves to a shared future.

I seek the one, but am not yet ready (if I ever will be) for the other.

The journey continues….

I Call to the Fair Daughters of Memory,

Attendants to Aphrodite,

Wise and wily wanderer’s of the Helicon,

Thy sweet inspiration I request,

Your clever companionship I crave

Your Praises I shall sing,

“Well,” says an inner voice that could be Thalia’s whisper, “you’d croak.”

Nevertheless I shall make all sorts of praises,

And make offerings of finely wrought words,

And wine, and honey to you…

Fair ladies all.

Blessings upon you!

Dear Friends,

So I have, as you have probably notices, not been writing here or there or much of anywhere lately…

In an effort to buck this trend and to re-invigorate my relationship with my Muse, I will be posting prayers and poems and well some sort of writing here each day for the next 28 days.  You have been warned…

Peace,

Pax

Dear Friends,

It can be very strange to look back on a period of difficulty and fear and strife and realize that you ~had~ to go through it to get to a good place now…

As I look around our apartment, I find myself realizing that it is the physical manifestation of a lot of my desires and hopes and prayers; it also would not have happened without an exceptionally stress-filled Summer.  I am reminded of many things by this… there is of course “Be careful what you ask for…”

More than that, however, there is a sense of the importance of regular and daily Spiritual Practice and Prayer and of not being afraid to engage in your mortal and Divine and somewhere-in-between relationships.  There is a sense of being open to one’s personal journey, willing to travel the difficult roads… willing to face the difficulties, willing to be forged into something stronger, purer, bore functional and bore beautiful and more useful by the hands of fate…

Sometimes, being worked upon by the Universe, hurts.  Sometime there is fear and pain and stress.  Sometimes… and sometimes there is joy and wonder and humor… sometimes.  There will be times in our journeys we want to cry, or run-away.  There will be times we are going to be transfixed with realization or laughter.  There will  be times where the fear and anger and wonder and realization are mixed into a strange and heady brew, and it’s all we can do to hold to our Center and keep moving forward.

There is always practice, there is always the mirror of our contemplations, there is always prayer, and there is always friendship and spiritual fellowship.

What are you seeking?  What are you giving?  What are you willing to go through to get it?

Peace,

Pax