Notes on the Journey December 13th 2021


A couple of weeks ago, I realized I had been running largely on empty.

Scheduling upheavals at work, and several weeks where every one of my days off were largely chock full of appointments with diverse doctors and dentists for both myself and my beloved. In the immediate aftermath of Jon’s stroke there had been a flurry of spell craft and offerings and prayer, and then with the onslaught of events I had cut my practices to the bare minimum. Over time I fell into an old and familiar trap of “later”.

I’ll deal with it later, or so I told myself. Whether it was my regular practices, or different housework, or making the time and conscious decision for genuinely nourishing forms of me-time and self-care.

 I had fallen down a new rabbit hole, Tiktok, even made a few videos there (and will be making more) but a lack of free time and a surplus of bad timing has been thwarting me. Since Jon’s stroke in August, after an intense flurry of prayer and spell crafting that first week, I pretty much kept things to the simplest of regular practices. Grounding, Centering, up through my Chakra’s, and prayer.

That was the game plan anyhow…  but with the mad rush of events and appointments I, once again, found myself slipping into a depression doing the bare minimums on self-care and chores and feeling constantly overwhelmed and doom-scrolling through Tiktok.

In a perversely lucky way, this is not my first rodeo with depression or an unhealthy form of disassociation. Over many years I have wrestled with cycles of balance and imbalance in my life and spirituality. So I paid a little extra attention to some of my favorite creators when they were posting about issues in dealing with Life, Spirituality, or ADHD.  After a time, I’ve been trying to get back into a semi-regular routine of spiritual practices simply for themselves and myself and not merely as a preparation before leaving the house and dealing with Work or the Outside World.

…and here I think I will chunk some of what I am feeling the need to write about and say into a couple of other posts…

Partly because as I have been re-reading my blog and thinking about how to return to a journal of my life and practice, I have realized that my ADHD blessed brain is sometimes like a rail-road station with multiple trains of thought running through it at any one time, and because I want to start crafting my topics and thoughts on them and my writing, in a bit more focused and deliberate a manner.

Bliss, and Blessed Be,

Pax / Geoffrey

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