Notes Upon The Journey: May 3rd 2023

5/3/2023 Wednesday Day of Mercury
9:01 PM Hour of Venus

Waxing Gibbous Moon


The sky has been largely clear today. A warm day with delightfully low humidity has given way to a pleasantly cool and windless evening. The waxing moon bright in the cloudless sky.

Today was a wonderful day. I met up with one of my BFF’s Matt for one of our semi-regular weekly get togethers. My bear Jon had used up all his metaphorical spoons in a late morning dental appointment and some basic shopping and did not feel like going back out. Matt and I decided to go to our favorite Thai place and then bop to a store for some needed clothing for myself and then the two of us took a walk around a local mall, chatting and exploring. A lovely day spent with a good friend and getting some MUCH needed exercise.

As I may have mentioned I changed jobs in January, and am working a new position at a new hotel. I’ve also been trying to get some bids and information together to get some much needed repairs done on the house. This has been a slow process, in part because of my own unfamiliarity with such processes and having to turn to some close friends and foamily for advice, and in part because I have had a lot of trouble pushing through what I thought was ADHD fueled executive disfunction, the natural difficulties someone with ADHD has with scheduling and initiating tasks. Beyond getting basic laundry and household chores (imperfectly) done, a lot of things around the house had been getting put off until some unspecified ‘later’. Until the other day, I hadn’t opened my new journal in weeks. Other than trying to remember to ground and center and breathe into my chakra’s, and a few incense and coffee offerings to the Holy Powers, I have been very much of a spiritual and magickal slacker the last few months. I’ve also found myself having…. overly strong… and sometimes intense internal reactions to situations and people at work, things that should be minor but are not feeling or hitting that way.

Then sometime last month, the following image came across one of my social media feeds…

A Tweet by @jasminnemendez dated April 23rd 2022, in white text against a black background.  Tweet reads as follows...

I was with a friend yesterday who said "What most people are doing is not self-care, it's after-care, and that is not sustainable." And, wow, I felt that.

As I said I encountered this sometime in the last few weeks, and when I did I also felt it!

Now I have mentioned the idea of cledons before, and I believe that if we balance common sense with intuition and an open mind we can encounter them in many forms and formats in our lives.

I had already been trying to figure out and work through the mental, spiritual, and physical sense of exhaustion that I had been wrestling with on one level or another for months now. In light of the above randomly encountered digital utterance, I started looking at the last few years of ongoing and painful stresses and turmoils at my previous job, where I often ended up working 12 or 16 or 18 hour shifts unexpectedly in a high stress environment all to full of uncertainly; somehow convinced that I would not find better or that I was going to somehow earn better within the company eventually. Add to this some major emotional upheavals and medical emergencies over the course of three consecutive years, AND the stresses and turmoil of the global pandemic and the political and cultural and social upheavals accompanying the last few years…

Well, when one looks at it that way it is not unreasonable to be having some trouble functioning in ones day to day!

So I am making some changes to my daily routines trying to add some more vitamins and intellectual stimulation and exercise, to reduce the stress eating and stress scrolling and stress smoking that have been sneaking back into my days once more as old and familiar ways of dealing with…. well, a LOT going on in current events, combined with the aftermath of the last few years both on the personal level as well as the societal level.

Sometimes you have to take a step sideways, or a couple of steps back and then sideways, before you can move forward. Sometimes, especially on a swiftly tilting planet in tower times, one must take a breath or two and relax into the strange comfort of the fact that it is ok, to not be ok; and then continue with The Work.

Bliss and Blessed Be,

Pax / Geoffrey

So what do you think?! Opinions? Ideas? Beuller... Bueller?!

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