The Spirit of Beloved Community & being in Beloved Community with Spirits

Dear Friends,

Today’s post discusses more of the U.U. side of my spirituality but also, like so many things in my life, crosses over into the cross-roads of my Pagan roots.

So with some fluctuations in my schedule recently I actually got to sleep the Saturday night before Church, instead of hoping to grab a nap after getting off of work from the overnight shift.   I was eager to explore the novelty of the Church Service experience having had a full nights sleep beforehand.  I was slow in waking up, even with having set my alarm early but not only felt the personal need to go to church… I also felt a bit unsettled about the idea of missing it that day.

So I got my things for my work shift together, quickly ran through some of my Daily Practice, gave Jonathan a kiss, and headed over there.

As I was driving up to the driveway I usually use, I could see that folks were there waving signs, at first I wondered if there was a car wash or something going on that I had missed reading about in the weekly 1U Email…  bright colorful signs and folks milling about the sidewalks and the side-driveway, so I pulled past the Robinson Street driveway and got ready to turn on North Hampton to what I think of as the Main Driveway.   It was as I was waiting for the oncoming traffic to let me turn that I realized that the signs were condemning abortion and homosexuality, and some of them were the extreme close-up pictures of dead babies that the far right and fundamentalists are so very fond of.

It says something about the spirit that my beloved community engenders within me that my first thought was a cheerful and almost eager…

“We’re being protested… how exciting!!”

On some strange level seeing those folks out there preaching down a storm on us, and the signs about how awful and false and without Jesus we were and how we would mislead folks into thinking Homosexuality (because we are an Affirming or GLBT friendly Congregation) or Abortion (1U Congregation members were instrumental in forming Planned Parenthood of Orlando) ….. somehow those folks protesting us confirmed deep within me my conviction that this Congregation was a force for good in the world.

I pulled into my usual parking spot, having arrived early despite getting briefly lost in the maze of streets between this mornings 408 exit and the Church, and set out to track down Rev. Kathy to see how I might be of help.  As I walked through Campus I could see members & friends of the Church also milling about both Gore Hall (our social hall) and the Sanctuary.  I found Rev. Kathy, and asked her..

“Shall I help make copies of lyrics sheets for We Shall Overcome?!”

She laughed and then in a slightly distracted manner reminded herself to change the closing hymn and talk with our Music Director…

Rachel, whom I know from around Church and from Worship Committee, came up and told me how some of the protestors were going to be leaving their signs and slogan-bearing t-shirts behind and join us in the Sanctuary for Services… and how there was also a Plain-Clothes Police Officer going to be in the Sanctuary today in case there was any problems during the Service.  I touched base with a few friends and felt the tension on the campus.  The overall mood of our folks seemed subdued, some folks were tense or nervous… there was a sense of dread and controlled anger and even fear in the crowd milling about waiting to start Services…  given the sad fact of some of Unitarian Universalism’s recent historyI suppose I can’t blame them.

I took a few moments to touch base with the coordinators of our newly formed Social Hour Team and discussed my sketchy schedule for July and August, said hello to a few more folks and ran into Rev. Kathy again.  I asked her if I should see if the Protestors needed any water or if they needed a restroom or something… it’s called Radical Hospitality, and I am a practitioner of it… she pointed out that they probably already had their needs covered (and that some of our co-congregants might not be as ready to extend Radical Hospitality as am I…).  She seemed a little nervous, so I reminded her of those Six Breaths she had once talked to me about and let her get going to the Sanctuary.

At some point in all of this, the part of Geoffrey that chose the name Pax, that now goes by other more secret names, the part of me that has danced Deosil round Rowans in the Rain, that has thrown offerings of Grain and Rum out to the many Holy Powers and to the Spirits and Ancestors, the part of me that has tried to self-train as a Priest to the Holy Powers for most of the last 20 years sat up and took notice.   I breathed into my Center and my Chakras and to my Connection to the WitchFather, and took another look around.

There were a couple of members sitting in outdoor chairs by the Robinson Street driveway to keep an eye on the protestors and make sure they didn’t come onto Campus with their signs or t-shirts… which since it’s out property we have the right to deny folks entry if we wish, though its sad that we have to make that choice.  Somehow, it was the realization that we had members on guard pushed both my Witch/Pagan buttons and my Usher/Greeter/Multiple Committee Member buttons.  I took another deep breath and asked the Spirits of the Church, the dryads and other nature spirits of the campus and Genius Loci and the Congregational Egregore, to lend a hand.

I found myself entering Usher/Greeter mode, greeting Church members and looking around for member needs and ways I could help.  Rev. Kathy mentioned she needed a glass of water for the pulpit, so I went and got one…

“I Bless thee and consecrate thee oh, Creature of Water and cast out of thee all impurities, that we might work wonders…”

~I spoke the words of consecration as I walked from Gore Hall to The Sanctuary…

…by the time I returned Services were beginning so I placed the glass of water on the table to the side of the pulpit area where the book of Joys and Concerns was waiting to be fetched by the Rev. when she was ready…

I returned to the back of the Sanctuary by the doors to the Foyer, and Rachel came up again and reminded us all of the Evacuation plan for the building and as she and her partner Nicki went to Gore Hall they shared a few key Cell Phone number’s with me in case some of the protestors who were observing the Service caused trouble.  I watched the beginnings of the Service, but was already feeling a part of it yet standing apart from it, with my Acrostic eye viewing things through both a Pagan headspace and that of an Usher… so I took my leave of the Sancuary and walked through the Fountain Courtyard, past various Memorial Plaques and plantings and made sure that the protestors weren’t planning on disrupting things by marching through on that end.

I am realizing my time-sense of the day is a little off, partly because the usual Order of Service was adjusted and there were no Words for All Ages, the children were already in the Religious Education building… probably to insulate them from the protestors.  When a member  parent and child arrived late the protestors started shouting at the mom about how the child was endangered from our Churches false teaching.  Some comments the Director of Religious Education had made a little while ago made more sense, and I realized that this also insulated them if there was violence from the protestors.  They probably had the RE complex locked up tight…

I stopped at the back of the Sanctuary, facing Hampton behind the back wall of the Pulpit/Altar area,  where some of the most recent memorial plaques are and where I had poured offerings of water to the Congregational Ancestors when my friend Sandi joined Them this Spring, and sent a few breaths to the Honored and Beloved dead of the congregation asking for their guidance and guardianship and aid.  The protestors did not look to be trying anything on that score, so I returned through the Fountain courtyard, and briefly thought about turning the fountain on… but I decided against it and went back inside to listen to the remainder of the Service.

The Services, or rather the Sermons, are podcasted at a couple of different sources and it rather rocked!  (now that I’ve had the chance to listen to the whole blessed thing… 😉  )

The Service went well and there was no disruption, I thanked the Reverend and gave her a hug and went over to Gore hall.   I turned on the fountain as I headed out to Gore Hall.  The social hour was a little restrained at first… I think that I was not the only person who was hesitant to speak to folks who were unfamiliar to me (of course given my poor memory for names and faces that can be a long list from even longtime members of the Church)…  I think there was also an element of waiting to see if some sort of disruption or attack occurred at this point.   The usual joyous tumult of social hour was also a bit subdued because there weren’t as many kids roaming and running about… I guess many of the parents had taken them home.

Here is where things got a little interesting.

First off, one of the ladies of the Alliance came up to me as the worshipers were wandering in and gave me an apron that had been part of the goods from my friend Sandi’s house-hold goods donated to the Alliance for resale, she had seen it and set it aside for me since Sandi and I shared a culinary connection in our friendship.  Then some of the conversations with folks after Social Hour started to wind down revolved around how many of us either just happened to go by Church early that morning and saw the protestors setting up, or woke up unusually early and looked at e-mail and got the message about the goings on, or simply felt especially drawn to Church that day.

Were the Ancestors present?   Did the Genius Loci and the Congregational Egregore send out some sort of “Hey!  All hands on deck!!” to those particularly attuned to their frequencies?  Did the many and diverse Holy Powers of the world here the prayers of some of the Congregants?

Personally, I believe so.

Whatever the details of the explanation, we handled it with dignity and Grace, as U.U.’s have sought to handle difficult times in the past.  I know we can carry the lessons of that day forward as we strive and sometimes struggle to be within Beloved Community with one another even as some of us are trying to widen the scope of that Beloved Community in some uncommon directions.

Peace,

Pax

My life with (some of) The Holy Powers and The Spirits

(Intro to a series…)

Hello Dear Friends,

This series of posts has its origins in reading Dver’s marvelous post A light in the darkness, which was in turn inspired by Sarah Lawless’ post They’re Watching You.  Most especially it’s been sparked by reading and re-reading Dver’s other post, Committing.  There are other posts that are inspiring and re-inspiring me (including They Hold Our Hands,  from Aquila ka Hecate, and It’s not about us also from Dver, and Gods, Goods and shadows… from CredenceDawg) as I seek to write of my encounters with some of The Holy Powers, and why I believe THEY are important….

That Paganism and Witchcraft and Spirituality and Religion and Devotion are about THEM at least as much as, if not more than, they are about US.  Increasingly I am seeing that this is something of a scandalous or shocking, or perhaps I should say unfashionable, idea amongst a number of my fellow Pagans.  So let me clarify my own personal position.

The. Gods. Are. Real.

So I am going to engage in some commitment with this series of posts.  I am going to write about my personal experiences of some of the Holy Powers and Spirits as I remember experiencing them.  Some of these I have written about before or in part, but I am going to share them here again.  Because they really happened.

For the skeptical or non-theistic out there, especially the ones I know and socialize with in my off-line worlds, some of whom might become concerned or made uncomfortable by this series; I am willing to allow you all the polite escape clause that on some level that its possible that what I describe is all in my head and some psychological peak experience or whatever psychological make-it-some-how-safe-and-rational-excuses you prefer

HOWEVER

The experiences I will write about are such that they have  pushed (or pulled, or perhaps danced) me past the point of Agnosticism, over the borderlands of Belief  and deep into the complex terrain of Experience.

I am not a Polytheist or a Witch because I think that The Gods or Magick are nifty ideas, I am not a Pagan because it helps me to be a better person, I am not a Witch because its some nifty magickal lifestyle choice; I am a Witch and Polytheist because I have experienced Magick and encountered some of the Gods and Spirits and felt the phantom touch of the Ancestors in my life.

Peace,

Pax / Geoffrey

(tip of the hat to Lon Milo Duquette for inspiring the title of the present series of posts)

Intro (this post)

Libertas (whilst written before this series was conceived of, it fits a little too perfectly into the theme to be ignored…)

The Witches Goddess

The WitchFather

The Morrigan

Hecate

Dionysus

The Honored and Beloved Dead

Spirits of the World Around Us

Solsticetide Eclipse and learning to respect the moments momentous and mundane…

Dear Friends,

Tonight I have had the privilege of seeing the Waning and Waxing Crescent within hours of each other.  The chill night air and the Moon in the sky dancing with the shadow of the Earth.  Strange to watch this celestial dance and think of how they and we are all, somehow, the stuff of stars.

Thou art God, Thou art Goddess, we and They are all one and many and interconnected and miraculous.

There is wonder in this old Universe yet!  Once more the Child of Promise is stirring, as the Crone and Maiden and Mother dance in the jewel bedecked halls of Night.  The Miracles of the Solstice are nigh, my friends, and we will welcome Him back into life and light soon.  Solstice Eve tonight (21st) and Solstice Day in the morning (22nd), and we shall welcome a New Year round soon.

I have always related to the Solstices and Equinoxes as major occasions, a natural result of an Alaskan upbringing when the Winter Solstice shall see 4 hours of daylight if the sky is not blanketed with thick gray clouds.  The Winter Solstice is the turning of my spiritual New Year, followed shortly by the Calendarical…

Drink deeply of mystery and wonder and poetry and promise my friends, drink deeply of mulled wine or sweet Sangria and Breathe deep the Breath of Life and sing and hope and dream and smile and laugh and feast with friends.  Whether you huddle round a bonfire in a chill night or spend the night bbq-ing with friends, or savoring stew cooked on the stove of by the fireside.  Light Candles and kindle fires and stare deep into flames listening to the wisdom from the flickering tongues that whispered to our ancestors oh so ever so long ago.

There is wonder and power in any Winter Solstice, and this one is more precious still for the overlapping of the Eclipse…  and yet one of the lessons of my own journey that I am filled to overflowing with this year as I feel the strange alchemy of the Solstice tide turn what had been a sense of stillness turned to stagnation and a spiritual bleakness cracking open to the wonder and possibilities and hope of this time of year; one of the lessons I have learned and should like to share is this, there is wonder and magick and Mysteries and power and possibility in our simplest acts if we open to it.

I am reminded of this, especially this time of year as I watch so many people get caught up in the mad rush of days, indeed a dear friend, who lives in the North East U.S., expressed exhaustion at everything that needed doing this Holiday Season… and some part of me began to flow with the first stirrings of the Solstice miracles…. I wrote to her…

Breathe the breath of life, Inspire, draw in life giving air, life force, and Spirit, take a step and feel air and blood and magick flow. 

Know the simple blessing of breath and movement and magick. Feel the blessed benediction of the bloo…d in your veins. Where there is soreness then stop for a moment, stand and breathe into the pain… sending air and energy to whatever needs strengthening and balancing loosening the pain and repositioning your body until it moves from “ow” to “ah, that’s alright”, then stride forward once more with grace and ease.

Movement is more purposeful now, more the prowl of a panther than the leap of a gazelle, but every movement and every breath and every conscious action is a blessing and benediction unto ourselves and the world.

If we remember the powers of Air and the benediction of breath.

~~~

Light a candle, or pour a hot toddy, take a moment to warm yourself by the wood-stove or the fire or simply with hands clasped around a cup of strong black tea with cinnamon and citrus rind…. take a moment to breath in the fragrant steam, take a moment to lose yourself in the candles flame.

Look inside yourself and seek your spiritual fire and inner light. Take a breath and send air and energy to your personal fires, take a breath and open yourself to the Light of Lady and Lord, to His Light, to The Light of which we and They are a part.

Remember the blessings and benedictions of Fire.

~~~

Bundle up and take your freshly poured tea outside a moment. Look at the snow and ice around you and realize that one of Mysteries of Water is that it can be so many things…. It can be hard enough to scour the mountains to fine fertile dust, in can fall and fly crystalline and wind borne, it can flow along the earth, it can fall warm or cold from the sky… We are also capable of many things and forms in our emotions and our ways of acting and reacting…

Make a snowball and throw it at a wall, how does it react on impact? How are you reacting to the impacts from the mad rush of days?

Take a likely icicle and stir your tea with it, cooling the overheated liquid until it is drinkable, turning a burning liquid into nourishment, Transformation…

Go inside and mix salt and water and draw stars and snowflakes on your window panes… leave them a while and then when the patterns shine through later remember to yourself that you can transform you can choose how to react and what form your spirit and emotions shall take..

Take time for a hot hot bath, or a shower and a lustral bath, with soothing herbs…

Luxuriate in the Mysteries of the Waters…

~~~

Breathe in the fragrant scent of the pines, stir up a pot of stew on the stove, light a few scented candles in the rooms of the house and just take some time reveling in your home. It is a place of wonder and blessings and nourishment and nurturance. Determine to take 10 minutes to do nothing but sit in Your Spot and sip something and eat something and silently enjoy Your home and hearth and what health you have.

Bake something for your beloveds, go through the pantry and see what supplies you need to stock up on so that on the next expedition you can fill the pantry and plan something special for those you love and for yourself…

Savor the mysteries of Earth….
~~~

We are all magickal, we are all miraculous, there is wonder and power aplenty if we open ourselves to them.  Whatever your climate, wherever you are dear friends, you too can take time, MUST make and take the time to savor the moments and the Mysteries.
Bright Blessings and Much Love to you all,
Pax

The Numinous

I am rather exhausted as of late.   Working full time-ish again, and working retail again, as I work two jobs in the hopes of their equaling one full time job until such time as my writing serves to pay the bills and let me flout the occasional traffic authority… well it’s a lot of work and a lot more work than I’ve done in a while.

Yet I soldier on, in spite of flattening feet and pain in my ankles so bad I sometimes can barely walk (April some insurance kicks in and so I will be visiting a doctor about this)), despite being so tired sometimes… still I soldier on.

Spiritually too I keep to my prayers and am adding a few shielding and visualization techniques to keep to my spiritual ballance and keep myself sane and whole… and sometimes Magick happens.

Over the course of the day I was aware of a deeply seated good feeling within my spirit today… more than a good mood or positive attitude… as I drove home, finally having some time off the retail stage to think of my interactions that day I realized that the colors were a little brighter and the shapes a little more vivid….

I thought to myself of the numinous presence of the Goddess and God present within myself and every one I had interacted with today.  Their eyes shone out to me from every face I interacted with today.  Every cell of my body and every atom of The Universe danced, vibrated, and sang in tune to Their Song.

It is one thing to believe, to think, to know this on an intellectual level and acknowledge its simple logic and truth, but it is another to actively experience it in an ongoing way.   I’ve had touches, moments in ritual or brief moments on nature hikes or camping trips, over the years but this sense of an ongoing illumination from their presence… this is delightful yet foreign territory for me

I don’t know if this awareness will continue or if it will waver in or out, or if I will wake up tomorrow and have no more sense of the celestial than before.  I am writing of this in order to remember and to recall.

It’s strange to feel as if I have passed, all unknowingly, through some sort of veil into the realm of the Mysteries.  The Gods are at once a part of the keyboard I type upon and the air I breathe, The mysteries move through my veins and through the rivers of the world and in the deepest oceanic currents.  Everything and everyone is sacred and beautiful and divine and words are so failing me right now!

I want to speak with an eloquence about the same divine pulse that is the drip, drip, drip of the melting icicle in the middle of the Northern forests being the same sush, sush, sush of the warm Gulf waters against the sandy shore, being the same as the wise whispering rustle of the wind through the leaves of the live oak trees.

I feel as if I should be flying off to a Witches Sabbat to sing or feast or dance with my sister and brother witches as we sing songs of the ancient ways in the modern days.

All these thoughts are interspersed with the sobering knowledge of my own dreadful lack of language and knowledge of these deep and strong currents of power and wisdom and intuition and knowledge… luckily however the choice of the word numinous in my out-loud-thinking on the way home lead me to a deffinition of the word and to some ideas for further readings and explorations.

Bliss, and Blessed Be, my dear Pagans,

Pax

In the Midst of the Mad Rush of Days…

In the midst of the Mad Rush of Days

Dancing with distress, and projects, and plans.

Looking around worriedly,

Trying to keep track of the many many little things,

Eyes, and heart, downcast.

~

Until,

I catch in the briefest of glimpses,

The Waxing Crescent Moon…

~

The Waxing Crescent Moon,

The Silver Cup of Dionysus,

Pouring inspirations

~

The Waxing Crescent Moon

The Curving Horns of Pan

Tearing distractions asunder

~

The Waxing Crescent Moon

The Crown of the Goddess

Shining as She reminds me “Breathe.”

~

In the Midst of the Mad Rush of Days,

I am reminded to cast my eyes upward.

I am reminded to breathe,

To stop running to and fro,

To stand still,

To breathe, until I can stride forth with purpose.

~

The Waxing Crescent Moon

Reminding me to Breathe,

Reminding me of my Craft,

Reminding me of my Name.

I’d like to think I am another, budding, Gospel Pagan!

Notes from a Pagan Evangelical 12/10/2008

Now, in some ways I don’t feel like I am a very good Gospel Pagan.  I have a tough time accessing that Spirit filled part of myself that Sara, and some of the best Pagan authors and bloggers out there, seem to be able to write from so blessed easily.

This has been getting easier, recently, as I have been working on this site and building up some of the pages and contemplating things like my daily practice and my relationship with the Deities.  In some cases though I still feel more like a pallid imitation of folks like Sara Sutterfield Winn, and Diane Sylvan, and Sannion, and Phyllis Currot, and Evn, and Sia, and Pagan Mehgan and Markys ny Deseret; more like an imitator rather than a Spirit filled Pagan writer.

Then, every once in a while, some kind soul will post a comment, or nominate me for the Meta-Pagan feed, or e-mail me a note.  Then will I know that some magic has happened.

Other times I will feel the magic and the Spirit come upon me, it will be a sudden burst of inspiration; although as I write more about my Witchcraft and Faith and Spirituality, recently, I have begun to find some small somewhat consistent stream of Inspiration and Spirit.

Like that moment in Spring when the drip, drip, drip of the icicles and snow becomes more of a steady stream, not unlike a barely open faucet slowly blossoming with The Sun’s love into something new and wonderful.  In those moments some small wonderful thing begins to happen.

When I participate in or write of the Gifts of Giving, about making my offerings of incense to the Gods, or when I pour my libations and I feel touched and embraced by my nearest and dearest Deities.   It’s happening.  When I cast Circle and honor the Esbats or Sabbats of Witchcraft, it happens.  When I talk or write about establishing a Loving and Stable relationship with The Lady and Lord of Witchcraft ~ or of my budding relationships with Hecate and Dionysus, its there too.  When I seek to speak or write or live the gospel truth of my Pagan self seeking, not to convert, but to simply share the joy and wonder The Good News of my own Pagan experience, in those moments I am most true to the Gods, and to my self, as a Pagan and as an Evangelical.