Almost $10,000 in two days!!

Dear Friends,

The Earthquake in Japan hits home for me, in some ways literally.

I was born in Fairbanks and raised in Anchorage, Alaska, USA, aka  Earthquake Country.  The Tsunami had mellowed to a few feet by the time it reached Alaska, only a few feet from what my brother told me.   At the same time having grown up with pictures of, and hearing the living memories of, the 1964 Good Friday Quake.   Having grown up with earthquake drills in school as a kid.  Realizing as a teen that while it might help protect you in an earthquake hiding under a desk or table or standing in a doorway might also just make it easier for them to find your body in the rubble.  Knowing that the Anchorage area sees a major quake roughly every 20 years according to recorded seismic data and that the next big one is well over due, knowing that it could very well be my hometown and my family… Earthquakes always hit home for me.

My heart goes out to the People of Japan.

I was heartened when I read at The Wild Hunt about Peter Dybing’s observations and efforts to coordinate a Pagan community response.

(At the same time I am not thrilled that the chosen symbol for the thing was a pentacle, because of course for many of the Pagan faiths the pentacle has little or no personal or spiritual meaning… but I accept that sometimes in an interfaith community there will be growing pains and we will find a way on this issue as on others.)

I am so very happy to report that in the two days of its’ existence the Pagan Community Doctors Without Borders page at First Giving, established by Covenant of the Goddess First Officer Peter Dybing on March 14th is already nearly $10,000  towards their $30,000 goal.

Think about that.  $10,000 in two days… with mostly $20 here and $50 to $100 there….

This is inspiring, not just to know that one of the groups I tend to think of as my people, are doing good in the world… I’ve known that for a while now… but that we are doing it visibly!

There are those who will whinge that you should do charity simply for charities sake, but I say make every penny count.   I am fiercely glad, not only that people will be able to say it took them this short time to reach $30,000; I am glad that they will have a rough count of our numbers or at least of those participating who left a name…. because of course our friends and family members can participate to and support their family and friends in the Pagan community in doing good.  I am glad based on even the low estimates of how many Pagans there are in the U.S. that if each of us gave as we were able we could well overshoot the $30,000 mark!

I am too damn proud for words of Peter Dybing’s remarks on his blog

“Pagans from all over the country have donated and stepped forward to endorse the project. We received donations from individuals as well as organizations. To all those who stepped forward THANK YOU. We still have been unable to generate significant numbers of small donations. It continues to be the goal of this project to engage the entire Pagan community in a unified effort. If you are concerned that you do not have the funds to donate consider just a few dollars. Each of us can only do so much in these tough economic times. What is important is participation not the donation amount.”

Think about it…

The estimates of the number of Pagans (..and Witches, and Heathens, and Hellenics, and Druids, and Religio Romana, oh my…) in the United States ranges from 200,000 to 1 million.  What if ~each~ of us really did give as we could give to this one cause and this one venue…. if the lowest population estimate is right we’d raise 1 million dollars for Japan if each of us gave $5!

How delicious would that be?  What if “Pagan Community Donates a Million Dollars to Japanese Disaster Relief” made the news?  What if that were to replace the latest local wand-waving weirdo as the public’s image of Pagans?

Just think about it…

Peace,

Pax

Notes from the Journey: Daily Practices and forgiveness

Hello Dear Friends,

So the scent of Lavender incense wafts through the apartment as the Laundry machine rumbles and I sort some laundry into appropriate places and piles…  I sip my coffee and breathe into my Center and contemplate my journey and journal…

I have started listing a whole bunch of things in my, until recently, on-again off-again journal/diary; the categories are based on things I desire to do with my time and life…

I note when I wake up, what work hours if any I have, the date (or when I work the overnight the dates), and the moon phase.

Then it’s on to the categories of activity I am increasing my awareness of and working on including in my life..

Prayer: any and all formal prayers like my 8 virtues prayer and the ‘Who is this Flower above me’ prayer are listed, as well as some notation if I engaged in any other prayer that day…

Energy: any basic energy work or magickal exercises are listed here… splatter vision, dropped attention, grounding, basic centering, sheilding, …. sometimes Soul Alignment work although that usually flows into

Chakra & CLF: Any work with my Chakras and the Cleansing Life Force exercise variations that I practice, my variation on the CLF seems to also work to align my Soul… although I occasionally experiment…

Meditation: here I list the type and how long I meditated… if I did, still exploring why I have such trouble stilling myself… perhaps its the lack of,

Physical Excercise: At this stage anything beyond my all too sedentary routine counts… went shopping and walked through the grocery store?  Counts.  Walked around the block for a cup of coffee or whatever?  Counts…

Nutrition: Everything I eat or drink in a day… whatever it is… no judgements just recording…  food and beverages; I have also been studying up on proper nutrition and trying to change my diet, but even when I am off the wagon at least I am maintaining my awareness of what I am consuming so I can go back and go…”Wow, ok last week was a carb-a-palooza… why?!”

Writing: I have identified writing as an activity the nourishes and nurtures my spirit, so even if I just am able to shoot off an e-mail I include it here although I am trying to make space in my day where I sit and write… even if it’s just jotting down lines or ideas or making a list…

Professional Development: This is where discussions with my manager about training or the company, or work on my L:inkedIn profile or Resume or other professional life related work goes…

Journaling: Separate from writing because this is recording observations on any of the above that strikes my fancy or writing down ideas.

~~~~~~

Now I rarely get everything done each day.  I am happy that, with the exception of one day I slacked after having a very busy 22 hour day, I have been journalling almost everything I’ve eaten in the last couple of weeks and that I have been writing keeping track of all of the above daily.

This is where the forgiveness comes in.  See in years past when I have tried to change or improve things I would tend to despair and give up at the first mis-step or the first few times I failed to follow through on my wishes for more exercise or healthier eating… or to establish regular spiritual practices.

One of the lessons I have learned is that it is not about succeeding in the 1st or 2nd or even the 32nd try… it is about returning, again and again, to those things that nurture and nourish us in body and soul and help us along the path to where we want (or need) to be.  Instead of despairing or giving up or telling myself that I am a fuck-up or a failure or that I can’t do it… instead of all that doom filled negative self-fulfilling prophesying; I write, I smile, I breath and I remind myself that the fear and the doubt are honest reactions but that they do not define me… I look at the entries and I ask myself the why’s and wherefore’s of my actions and reactions.

I see for example that I am rather good at finding ways to include energy work, prayers, and chakra work in my day; physical exercise is another matter.  This leads to questions and contemplation of my motivations, my living situation, and the many many influences affecting my life right now.

I feel like I have finally flipped the bird to the overculture and am begining to live in a way that will help lead me to a healthier and more authentic and prosperous future.

So that is what is working for me right now.

What in your life and practice and journey is working for you?

Peace,

Pax

Regarding a couple of classics…

Dear Friends,

There are a couple of very eloquent and talented writers in the Pagan community who I see regularly on a particular online forum.  Learned gentlemen whose writings are reputed to be some of the sharpest and most intellectually convincing and heartfelt explorations of Pagan thought and polytheology.  Unfortunately my heart and mind tend to slam shut at the sight of their noms-de-Pagan.

This is because the very first place I encountered them is in the comment stream of a popular Pagan blog, where they are both frequently found pouring out their anger and bitterness and venom towards Monotheism in general and Christianity in particular.  Although in light of recent event over the last few months they have been throwing dog dirt upon Islam as well.  Anyone who disagrees with them, no matter how gently or politely,  is subjected to their ridicule and scorn; if the objector is Pagan then the legitimacy of their particular religious path and their basic intelligence are called into question.  In their ongoing campaigns of vitriol they will cherry pick their examples from the worst of human behavior in whatever form of Christianity or Islam or Monotheism they are currently attacking; or the particular form of religion/Paganism of those who dare disagree with either of these theoretically august personages.  When they are not insulting the intelligence or character of their detractors they will be found busily and casually ignoring any evidence or examples that counter their examples or might contradict their passionately proselytized prejudices.

They have given me a lot to think about and I am once again contemplating why it is that I have such a powerful emotional response when the two of them start writing about other religions, mainly but not limited to monotheistic ones. My reaction is often one of not just no, but a sometimes very angry “Oh Hell to the No!”

In my anger and outrage I have sometimes gotten rude and petty and pissy, again I apologize to them.

The more I think about it the more I have realized that when one of the two of them starts to vent their, admittedly well written, spleen on the topics of monotheism the two of them remind me of nothing so much as Jerry Fallwell or Fred Phelps or Anita Bryant or any of the many others who have tried to tell me all my life that as a Gay man I am evil and vile and worthless and without worth and value and values and that I don’t deserve the same basic legal rights as others.  There is the exact same sort of righteous anger, and venom. The same willingness to deeply research matters as long as the facts they find match their preconcieved notions, and to casually sweep aside anything that is counter to their set opinions. There is the exact same cruelty and condescension to any and all who disagrees with them, and the same willingness to comdemn them as wrong or suspect of representing “the enemy’. There is the same eagerness to force their opinions onto others no matter what it takes. The same willingness to play the martyr card the second that the system or popular opinion isn’t playing in their favor. The same sort of tactics, the same sort of fanatic zeal, the same sort of hatefullness, and the same sort of bigotry.

Then again the two of them aren’t all that much like any of the fanatics I’ve named, after all neither of them has ever showed the courage of your convictions to attach their legal names to their little opinion pieces, either int heir comments on other blogs or on their own. They are content to cower behind pseudonyms while spraying their negative opinions about like a cat marking its territory.

I do take comfort in the fact that for many, although admittedly not all, of the readers of the forums they comment in they represent the same sort of place within Paganism, that Fred Phelps or the Church of Christ Aryan occupies in Christianity.   So I shall let them spout their hatred and vent their spleens.

I shall pray for them.   I shall strive to resist the urge to give in to my own shock and outrage at their slings and arrows with the shaking of fists or giving them the attention and reaction they so desperately crave.   I remain content in the knowledge that for most Pagans the kind of bigotry, pettyness, and anger that they represent are absolutely NOT what the many Paths of Pagans Movement are about.

Still praying the prayers of Peace,

Pax / Geoffrey Stewart

So there’s this guy at Church sometimes, and I am a little weird-ed out by him…

Dear friends and readers of all sorts,

Today’s post is, well complicated, and says some things that may be uncomfortable to read or to think about or discuss, but it’s something I have been wrestling with as of late… so here goes….


“Unitarian Universalism is a non-creedal religion.”

That’s one of the things one often hears when U.U.’s are trying to explain our religion to others.  This is usually followed up by a discussion of the Principles and Sources.  But the U.U. faith was born out of the complex intermingling of (very) liberal Christianity from Unitarian and Universalist streams of Christianity over the last 200 or so years,  and intermingled in the 30’s through the 50’s with  Humanism, then the U.U. faith was born in the 60’s and was then invigorated in the 70’s and 80’s with the influx of Paganism.  We U.U.’s are a complex new people with some very diverse and ancient roots.

But, Christianity is there, sometimes waiting to be dealt with.

I am not the only Pagan to be wrestling with the big C lately, there were some rather virulent comment streams over at the Wild Hunt that led Jason to institute a Comments Policy…  Cat at Quaker Pagan Reflections has mused a bit on Christian ways of viewing history through a rosy lens…. and Kayliegh at Kalisti: An Apple in Pandemonium recently mused about the persistence of ancient Paganism despite Christianity’s coming to power in ancient Rome

For YEARS I have been decrying the knee-jerk anti-Christian bigotry one sometimes hears or sees expressed in Pagan community spaces.  Over all, when it comes to those Pagans who can’t stop talking about their Christian pasts or upbringing and especially who cannot let go of or move past anger or grievance with Christianity, I have to agree with Cat Chapin-Bishop,

“But when you take the time and trouble to write, not of your encounters with the gods, nor even of your personal journey from Christianity to Paganism (for I note that most of the offenders on this one are ex- but not post-Christian) to give me news bulletins about how uniquely terrible the religion of Christianity is, perhaps I may be excused for wondering how much room you have in your spiritual life for your own gods, if you must spend so very much of your time howling at the gods of others?” ~ Cat Chapin-Bishop from her post Turning our Backs on Jesus: a humble request

Of course some of this is influenced by the fact that I wasn’t churched as a kid.  My family prayed at the holidays but there wasn’t really any serious involvement with Christianity or a particular denomination.  So I came to Witchcraft and Paganism with as clean a slate as it is possible to have living in a dominantly Abrahamic culture.

I was, as a Pagan and a Gay man, wary of the more radical and angry elements within Christianity but I also had dear friends who were Christians through whom I could see that there was goodness and decency to be found within the core message and practice of that faith if not in the words and actions of some of it’s loudest proponents and largest organizations.  It was after reading Bishop John Shelby Spong‘s excellent books including Rescuing the Bible from Fundamentalism, that I could acknowledge that had my life taken other directions I could have happily become a Christian.  Reading that book was, at the time, a truly revelatory experience for me as it not only opened my eyes to the detailed history of the Bible as a text/tradition.  It also opened my eyes and heart to a true understanding of how one could actually be a Christian and live a life of love and decency and compassion actually engaged with the Teachings credited to Jesus.  Sadly, despite a number of both dear and decent friends who are Christians, I had somehow always viewed them as the rare exceptions.  Especially in the face of the angry and narrow and hateful words and actions of so many many prominent Christians observed over the course of my lifetime.

Lately, I am realizing that a part of my spiritual journey in the moment is to explore my relationship with Jesus and his teachings. They from one of the Seven Sources of Unitarian Universalism after all, and have had some influence on contemporary Western culture as well.

This has been highlighted again and again for me in the last few months at moments in the services at F.U.C.O where a particularly Christian hymn is sung or where Christian teachings are being referred to in the Sermon.  The need to explore and meditate on my relationship to Christ and Christian teachings was brought to the surface most strongly at the Solstice Service that the Pagan group at church Mystic Grove sponsored, it’s actually something like the 10th annual Solstice Service, but it was only recently taken up by the Grove, it was originally started by our previous minister!  Gotta love a U.U. church!

Anyway, the Winter Solstice…

Somehow, in the busy rush of the Season, and with everything going on I had missed out on the fact that the Service was being held in our Fellowship Hall and not the Sanctuary.   (Reasons of tradition and logistics at work there, although it’s gotten to be such a big event there is discussion of getting the Sanctuary for next year…)  So I turned the corner into Gore Hall and saw that the Service was in the Fellowship hall and not the Sanctuary and at first I felt a disappointment.   This disappointment kept getting deeper…

As I realized it later, that disappointment mingled with the general stress of the Holidays, and the stress of being my first Holiday season after the break up with The Big Guy, and somewhere along the way that sinking mood plumbed into some of my emotional depths… to where I have, over the years, stuffed a lot of anger and resentment over a lot of things…

At the time, all I knew was that I was seethingly angry!  Full of opposition and resentment, I could not look across the courtyard to the Sanctuary without feeling a simmering resentment that Solstice was in Gore Hall (despite my later, confirmed, intellectual knowledge that there were probably good reasons of Tradition and Logistics for this…) and NOT the Sanctuary.  I was in NO head space for ritual or services, and so I left and went over to the R.E. building to help set up for the potluck and the Solstice  Bonfire Vigil.

I ended up having a good time that night, but I also knew I had to do a lot of thinking about that night.

Not a few days before I had thanked Reverend Roberta for her lovely sermon and how it had given Christmas to me as a religious holiday as a U.U., yet in the face of this strange dark and mercurial mood I was wrestling with I decided to forgo Christmas Eve Service.

It took some time for me to un-knot and untangle my feelings and thoughts, but I realized that I had pushed aside but not actually faced or dealt with my  feelings of resentment and anger at Christianity and how some of it’s more fanatical branches attitude towards other religions and towards some segments of the population; and even more anger at how the more liberal branches don’t ever seem to me to be nearly loud enough in their condemnation of the bigotry and intolerance being perpetrated just as much in their name and their Gods name as in the name of the more fundamentalist and Talibanesque branches of Christianity….

In setting aside these strong feelings and opinions over the years, as “not fair” or “not worthy” or …something…, I wasn’t allowing myself to really feel the anger and the upset, I wasn’t really letting it go I was just stuffing it away somewhere where it could sit and fester and lurk within my mind and heart.

If there’s one lesson I have learned in the last few months as I have thrown myself back into spiritual practice and meditation like a drowning man for the shore, it’s that if something comes up, be it a thought or a feeling or whatever then you need to BE with it for a while before you can truly let it go.  There can be something very important in those fleeting thoughts and feelings.

So I have been thinking about my own ambivalent feelings about Jesus and the Churches that have come from his teachings, the Unitarians and the Universalists had many things quite  right even before some of them joined into this sea-changed something rich and strange that is Unitarian Universalism, in my humble opinion.

A kind a loving God would NOT send anyone to Hell.

Jesus need NOT have been divine in order to bear his God’s Message.

Christ’s teachings, of love and compassion are much more to the point of Christianity than any literal bible verse.

As far as I am concerned the only Word is Love, and everything else is a story or an allegory or a metaphor; so I guess I would have been a VERY liberal Christian had my life taken another path.  If I would have gone to Christianity.

Yet still, I find myself feeling a little awkward about my own feelings and thoughts about Christianity.  In a lovely and thoughtful post recently, Cat reminded folks that many if not most of those Christian ancestors of ours converted at the point of a sword.  As a Pagan and a history buff and as an intelligent person I cannot deny the sad simple fact that one seldom discussed aspect of the history of the spread of Christianity is that it is a centuries long history of genocide against any and all who dissent or disagree or who stood in the way of whatever The Church and then later The Churches wanted.

Pagans and Christian Unitarians and Christian Universalists, all good heretics all in a row…

At the same time I must in fairness and honor admit that Christianity also brought us Bach and C.S. Lewis and Shakespeare and the U.S. Constitution and so many, many, wonderful things along with the baneful.  One cannot, and SHOULD not, ignore the contributions of Christians in the efforts to end slavery, encourage women’s suffrage, stand up for civil rights, and to stand up for GLBT rights, to stand and fight for the separation of Church and State and Religious tolerance…

Lately, as I mentioned above, there have been some virulent and extreme and in some cases breathtakingly bigoted and hateful comments about Christianity made on some of the Pagan blog comment streams.  Folks making sad and disturbing jokes about killing “ash-zombie’s”  (as in Catholics observing Lent), and others who have discussed the evil and bigotry of Christianity and how Jesus and Jehovah are false Gods and Islam and Christianity are false religions… you know the exact same sort of stuff that they whine and freak out about when OTHER religions say the same sort of things about THEM?

So I spoke up…with only a touch of my usual (and in some circles and Circles infamous) zen-like calm…

“Wow,
Thanks ______ and ____________!
This whole comment thread has it all!
Ignorance (in behavior if not in education) and hatefulness and bigotry!
The complete dismissal of the validity of another religion.
The complete dismissal of the divinity of another religions god.
Even casual jokes about killing other people because of their religious beliefs!
Could you two PLEASE go vomit forth your hatred and bigotry elsewhere?
Thanks again,
Pax”

(Can you believe that people have called me, ME, reactionary?!  I should turn the marrow in their bones to boiling lead…*)

So anyhow after a LOT of heated back and forth drama of the type that has erupted all to often on that forum lately someone asked…

“Pax, I don’t know much about you. I wonder if you’re chagrined, though, that your post opened up another of the running battles that, frankly, are getting kind of old here.”

And I responded…

Dear ____,

You ask…
“Pax, I don’t know much about you. I wonder if you’re chagrined, though, that your post opened up another of the running battles that, frankly, are getting kind of old here. ”

Yes, yes they are getting old.

Though I am not a Wiccan, I have chosen to base my faith and life as a Witch in large part on the ethical and moral teachings to be found within Doreen Valliente’s Charge of the Goddess. I strive to live a life of Beauty and Strength, Power and Compassion, Honor and Humility, and Mirth and Reverence. I strive and struggle, all the blessed time, to follow Her law “Love unto all beings…’ As She counsels in (what I personally consider to be) Divinely inspired poetry, I strive ever towards my highest ideals letting nothing stop me or turn me aside.

I would LOVE to not have this sort of thing going on here.

But when I see people making casual jokes about killing “ash-zombies” meaning Catholics and other Christians observing Lent (comment mercifully deleted, I would like to think because of my request); when I see people making casual comments about how Christians are all deluded or evil or hypocrites, or how Jesus and Jehovah are false Gods (which puts the Jewish people where exactly I wonder…), or how or how anyone who believes otherwise is also deluded or a fool…

How can I NOT stand up?

Especially believing in the power and Power of Words, to touch and transform minds, and hearts, and to touch and transform the very atoms and cells of all the worlds; when I see people wielding words of anger and encouraging the worst sort of casual bigotry… with the sort of jokes and comments that, were they directed at Pagans on a Christian forum would (and frequently do) result in outrage and apoplexy…

How can I NOT stand up against these things?

… Even as I wrestle with my own ambivalence about Christianity…

Peace,
Pax

A lot of evil has been done in the name of Christianity over the centuries, and a lot of evil has been done by Christians.  Does this truly balance the good done in the name of Christianity and by Christians.  I believe so.

I know that even as militancy and extremism and fundamentalism run rampant in both Christianity and Islam, I know and can see that there are also Christian and Islamic people of decency and open-mindedness and tolerance and compassion and faith standing up against these tides.

There is good and bad in every faith, in every person.  There is good and evil done in the name of all Gods at some point or another, people of every faith have done wrong unto another in the name of their faith or with the conviction that their faith somehow justifies it.  I know these things and try my best to stand against intolerance, and ignorance, and hatred when I am confronted with them.

Yet still, there’s this guy at Church sometimes, and I’m a little weird-ed out by him…

Peace,

Pax


* A fairly obscure reference, for those not familiar with him, to the improving works of Sir Terry Pratchett

Power and Compassion…

Dear Friends and Pagani,

As I look forward into the new year, and to the personal projects I am working on and those affiliate with my local U.U. Church, I also am looking towards causes I can support and campaigns I can look forward to raising funds for in the future.  I wanted to share a few good and inspiring causes here, these will be added to the Charities listing on the Online Pagan Resources Page…

Peace,

Pax

ps- I have, on occasion, been accused of being an idealist… they might be right…


Every Human Has Rights

Every Human Has Rights – Campaign Highlights from Every Human Has Rights on Vimeo.

More information on the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, here, and here.


The Charter for Compassion


Standing On The Side of Love

This campaign, originating within the Unitarian Universalist Association of Congregations, has already started work and campaigns for Immigration fairness and reform, and for GLBT Civil Rights and Marriage Equality.


The Elders

The Elders are an independent group of eminent global leaders, brought together by Nelson Mandela, who offer their collective influence and experience to support peace building, help address major causes of human suffering and promote the shared interests of humanity.

A number of examples of this work can be found on their webpage, but one excellent example can be shown in former U.S. President Jimmy Carter’s video address to The Parlaiment of Worlds Religions.

President Jimmy Carter addresses the Parliament from Parliament of Religions on Vimeo.


The Ethical and Virtuous Witch

Dear Pagani,

I am a Witch, of the type popularly called Wiccan.  In my case this means religious and British Traditional Witchcraft inspired Neo-Pagan Religious Witchcraft.  I came to this path, and later fell off of it for a while, nearly 17 years ago. This essay is my attempt to discuss the core values, ethics, and virtues I have found within the path and faith of Witchcraft.

I can only speak for myself, as a Witch, especially a Solitary one.  These are what I have found, your mileage may vary!

After having studied Witchcraft for a few years and Invoking the Divinities, seeking Them through Ritual and Gnosis.  I prayed and read and studied what I could find at the time… I wanted more, I felt the need to dig deeper.

So the first thing I did was take a good look at The Rede.

Now anytime one talks about ethics or values in the Neo-Pagan Witchcraft world, especially from the Wiccan or Wicca inspired end of the spectrum; the topic of the Rede comes up.

“An ye harm none, do what thou will.”

The Rede is almost always (and in my oh, so humble opinion incorrectly) cited as the only rule, ethical statement, or religious law of Witchcraft. While I disagree with the only part, I would say that examining the Rede, and really thinking about it, is central to understanding the philosophy of Witchcraft.  So let’s take a look, shall we?

First let’s focus on the word Harm…

“HARM (noun): Physical or mental damage.”

Nouns are words that name a person, place, thing, quality, or action. Eliminating the person and place we have Harm describing a thing, quality, or action. This would seem to say that Harm is something that is done by one party or group to another. To do something, to do anything in fact, you need intent. So while you may not always succeed at it, if you strive to do no harm to yourself or others you are practicing the Rede.

Now let’s look at the word “An” in “An ye harm none, do what you will”. An, is the archaic form of “If” so a more modern wording would be…

“If you harm none, do what you will.”

“If” is darned important.  “IF” means that we have the choice to do harm, to ourselves and to others, but that we must face the consequences of our actions.

If… So what if you harm someone, with intent? Since Witches don’t believe in the Devil, we can’t say “the Devil made me do it?” or “It was because I was a sinner!” or “It’s not my fault because I was acting under medication for my sinus infection”.

In fact Witches and a lot, if sadly not all, of our fellow Pagans believe very strongly in personal responsibility as a part of their life paths.  We choose our actions, and we are capable of choosing our reactions, so we are always responsible for what we do and the choices we make.

Harming “none,” also includes oneself. This is a key ingredient in my decision making process… Is it more harmful to myself to allow this situation to continue, than any harm X, Y, or Z might encounter as a result of my decision?  The thing is to be a Witch you must be willing to strive to do no harm. There may come times in life where you have a choice and no matter what you chose someone will be harmed by your actions, but in most cases you have a choice open to you to NOT harm anyone or yourself.

So that takes care of the “Harming None” aspect of the Rede, what about “Do what thou will.”?

This is another area worthy of some examination.   Are you thinking about will as in doing whatever you want?  That’s ok, as far as it goes, but we can dig deeper!  Like a lot of Witches, I look at the Rede’s similarity to certain Thelemic ideas and consider the will discussed in the Rede as being True Will.  Will, with a capital “W”, as being an ongoing effort to live from moment to moment a path of action in perfect harmony with Nature or the Universe; to seek ones ultimate Destiny.

So another wording of the Rede might be…

“Strive to do no harm, and seek a path of harmony towards your destiny”

This is a little more complicated, and adult, than just doing whatever you want; even if you are trying to mind the consequences!

Now the next thing a lot of folks seem to think about, in connection with the Rede, and with the topic of virtues and ethics in Witchcraft, is the Three-fold Law

“What you do comes back to you Threefold!”

Some Witches maintain that this is a core value or belief, other Witches look upon it and go

“Meh, Newton said it better!”

There is some variation of the Golden Rule or the Ethic of Reciprocity in most of the world Faiths.  While I respect the idea of the Rule of Three, as it is also known, I just can’t see myself grounding my actions and values in a system where I am fearing punishment or seeking reward.  That just seems somehow childish to me.

So I moved out from the Rede and the Rule of Three, in my own explorations  trying to figure out how to actively live as a Witch and carry my faith with me into the world.  Then I began to really look at Doreen Valiente’s Charge of the Goddess.

A few passages especially stood out…

“For mine is the Spirit of Ecstasy, and mine as well is joy on Earth, and Love Unto All Beings is My Law.”

“Keep pure your highest ideal; strive ever towards it; let nothing stop you or turn you aside.”

“Therefore let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, and mirth and reverence within you.”

These are the things the First Goddess of my heart demands of me.  I remember being so shocked that none of the books I had read talked about the implicit instruction aspect of the Charge of the Goddess.

“Love unto all beings is my Law.”

This passage was the first that sort of hit my in the face when I started really looking at the Charge for moral and ethical guidance.  It is the only place in this sacred piece of poetry and inspiration where The Goddess lays down Her Law… not a recommendation, not a suggestion, Her Law.

The thing is, Love, is complicated!

Love for your family, and friends, and beloved.  Love for your neighbors, your co-workers, and your acquaintances.  Love for the people who cut you off in traffic, love for the scary and possibly schizophrenic homeless guy you walk by on your way to work.  Love for all beings, no matter how violent or vile their actions or pasts…

Now loving someone doesn’t require us t unconditionally or blindly love them and it doesn’t require us to to accept their immoral or unethical behaviors.  As long as it is truly rooted in love, we can practice Tough Love in those cases.

Then too there are those people in the world and in our regional and religious communities who have committed crimes; sometimes horrible and “unforgivable” crimes like murder or rape or worse.

Please Note: I use the quotes because it is easy to forget, especially if we or someone we love has been victimized in the past, that unless the person we are faced with actually victimized us then it is not our place to forgive them.  Only their own victims can possibly do that!

However, if they have served their debt to society, and seek to live a moral and ethical and sane and healthy life now, then all I can do is to be cautious and watchful in my Love for them; because She demands I find within myself, and act with, Love for them!

Like I said, Love, is complicated.  The Law of the Goddess is not unlike the goal or practice of Metta or Loving Kindness of the Buddhists.

So, to paraphrase, again…

“Live a life of Love,” She says do good things, and act with balance and wisdom! She says…

Striving to find Love for all beings, and striving to identify and live out and act upon our Highest Ideals.

You know though, I am still still struggling to identify and articulate my highest ideals; heck that was one of the motivations for starting the International Pagan Values Blogging month blog carnival in the first place!  For me, my ideals are wrapped up within the Rede, and The Law of The Goddess, and the U.S. Constitution, and the Declaration of Independence, and many other sources and inspirations.

Then too, as someone who is barely making ends meet, and who is desperately seeking for a second job or one full-time job, a lot of my sense of actively working for my highest ideals; well, it feels on hold.

I do try to do good in the world where I can.  Writing and speaking out in favor of Gay Civil Rights, and Pagan Community.  I participate in workplace giving with a few dollars of each paycheck going to some charitable causes.  I tell myself that I will do more as I am able, but a lot of times that feels nowhere near enough.

So, for now, I try to hold to my ideals as best I can and pray to the Gods for guidance and good things for myself and my family and for the opportunity to act upon my ever evolving Highest Ideals.

It’s not like I, as a Witch, don’t have some guidelines in how to act…

“Therefore let there be beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, and mirth and reverence within you.”

These 8 virtues or qualities are what the Goddess wishes me to try and embody, each and every day.   They are a part of the plan the Goddess has laid out for us, Her Witches.

I have copied down the dictionary definitions of those 8 goals/ideals/virtues, I have sought out quotes about them that strike the same chords in my soul as the Charge does, I meditate and contemplate the meanings of the words and how others have related to them trying to puzzle out my own relationship to them.   I have in this very blog tried to articulate what some of the virtues mean to me, and rambled a bit about striving towards my highest ideals, and of love unto all beings.

The truth is though that these are things I think and pray upon on a daily basis,… now.

“Mother Celestial, and Father Divine,

Let me walk in Beauty and Strength,

Exhibiting Power and Compassion,

With both Honor and Humility,

Let me always remember Mirth as well as Reverence,

That I might be worthy of Thy Perfect Love and Perfect Trust,

And that of those in whose hearts you dwell.

Blessed be, so mote it be”

Originally I did that work studying definitions and contemplating meanings and looking at what others had said or thought about these qualities of character; and then, somehow, I sort of set it aside.   I got distracted from the important matters and guidelines of spirit by the pressures of everyday life, and by giving in to some of my more self-destructive impulses.  It has been a long and winding, educational and rough and yet not entirely unpleasant road back to living my Witchcraft on a regular basis; I am still working on it, and suspect I shall be doing so for the rest of this lifetime.

I have failed to live these ideals in the past, sometimes grievously, but I keep trying… one of the definitions of Strength relates to perseverance…and persevere I do!  Each day I pray my prayer, sometime it comes out more like a memorized recitation than a heartfelt speaking and sharing with the Deities, so I will repeat it… sometimes mantra-like until I feel I have truly thought about each of the virtues and what they mean to me and have had a moment of connection to Them as I contemplated these Virtues I am ordered to embody.

She wants so much from me!  I can get intimidated sometimes thinking about it, yet when I offered myself  to Them they accepted me.  So I persevere and I struggle and I keep going,

And still I struggle, Beauty and Strength, and by extension Health are  issues for me lately.  Well, Beauty is always something I have struggled to find in looking at myself, and to find myself worthy of striving for.  But Strength and health are things I have let slip in the last couple of years.  She expects more of my, and through Her love I have learned to start expecting more of myself.

As I write this I am realizing that one of the key things, for me, about the values and virtues I have found within Witchcraft is that they are things each of us must work with.  Whether you are a Solitary or in a Coven, no one else is responsible for your Grace, your Gnosis, your encounters with the Numinous Divine.

Each of us must look to the values and ethics and ideals and morals we find in our many Pagan Paths.  We must not only study and contemplate them, we must wrestle with them daily as we try to live them and as we carry them with us into the world where we will act in accordance with them.

Peace, and Love, always Love,

Pax

Honoring Aphrodite, and Beltane, and Ourselves

Beltane-tide Prayer 2009

I dedicate this prayer and post

To You oh Illustrious Lady,

Golden, Sea-Born, Cyprian,

Night and Laughter Loving Queen,

As we wind our way towards Beltane,

Open the peoples eyes and inform their minds,

To dangers both known and unseen

~Pax

I have yet to make it to a festival myself, I don’t have anyone I know real well to share camp with and now that issues of time and money are waning  I am hesitant to throw myself into this aspect of the Pagan community without finding a festival buddy first.  Silly, I know, but its how I feel.

As we wind our way towards Beltane I am reminded, by stories from one of my dearest Pagan friends of just how festive some of the festivals out there can be!

Especially this time of year.  Beltane, or May Day, is the time of year when many of us modern Pagans celebrate fertility and passion and joy and love and lust.  In theory it’s all about the fertility of the land and a time when many Witches and Pagans celebrate the sexual union of their Goddess and God  bringing life back into the world.  In practice there are event’s and festivals that feature that symbolism and often a dancing of the May Pole, and a lot of flirting games and sometimes a lot more than just flirting as folks very actively celebrate fertility.

For me, as a Witch who is also a budding Hellenic Polytheist, Beltane seems like the natural time to honor Aphrodite.

Aphrodite is the Goddess of Love and Beauty, of Procreation and Fornication, of Desire and Flirtation: She is Fairest of the Gods of Marriage, She whose wrath can strike men impotent, She who bestows Beauty and Grace, Lady of Pleasure and Merriment; She Who with Erato and Apollon presides over Love Poetry and Song, Lady of the Morning Star, Protectoress of the Homeland, and Goddess of Peace.

I’ve written a few things about Her before,  prayers of my own, and the Orphic Hymn to Aphrodite, and a little post wherein I suggested we modern Pagans should celebrate and honor Her in our Circles and at Beltane.

Now I could wait and hold a solitary ritual with an altar of images of Aphrodite, and with flowers and sweet candies for Her.  I could, and possibly shall, read the Orphic Hymn to Her and some more prayers of my own to Her, and pour  libations of wine and water and honey.

In the last day or so, however, I feel compelled to say some things about sex and sexuality how we Pagans honor Beltane.

Now, sex is wonderful and beautiful and sacred, as is wine, and music.  So too is Love, in all it’s forms from friendship to blazing passion to deathless romance, so too is Trust; and so too are every atom and cell of our bodies.  At least that last part is a part of the party line for a lot of Pagans out there; some of the stories I hear from friends about the festival circuit are beginign to make me wonder though.

If every atom and cell of our bodies partake of the Divines, then don’t we owe it to Them and to ourselves to be a little careful with our cells and atoms?  If our community is so fabulously free of psychological hang ups, so open, so sex-positive; if sex is sacred how come you never see an HIV testing tent at a community Beltaine event?

Since personal responsibility is such an integral part of being Pagan, why don’t we talk more at this time of year about reproductive health and about birth control and about family planning?  Why don’t we see Beltane (or even Imbolc) health fares in our Pagan communities?

I find myself wondering how many people in our community realize that one of the big reasons that a lot of open rituals will pass out dixie cups for sharing or wine or mead at the appropriate time in the ritual is because sharing a drinking vessel can spread oral herpes?

How many of you knew that oral herpes is present in 50 to 80 percent of the U.S. population?

When I read that roughly 1 million people in the U.S. have HIV; and 1 out of every 5 of them has no idea that they are infected!  When I hear that someone in the United States is infected with HIV every 9 minutes and 30 seconds…

I cannot help but wonder what Aphrodite, what any of the Goddesses of Love and Beauty, must think of these sad simple facts?  Are we truly celebrating fertility and honoring the full spirit of the season if we don’t think about our actions?

Nor is HIV the only potentially lethal STD that you need to worry about.  To paraphrase Henny Youngman

Take my Hepatitis B.  Please!

I have no idea where or when I got Hepatitis B, I learned about it long after that fact when I was taking a routine HIV test.

Luckily enough (if you can say that about a life-changing illness) my body fought off the infection.  This means that while Hep-B is present in my blood, I am not actively contagious and cannot transmit it to my Partner through casual contact or even sexual activity.  It is still in my blood though, and I am at risk for liver problems later in life.

I find myself wondering how many in the Pagan community may face a medical time bomb and not even know it?

We are responsible for our actions and choices. The gods have granted us this gift of intellect and will, and Will, so use it wisely!  Honor the Goddesses and Gods of your path, especially those of Love and Beauty and even Lust; but seek to do so in wisdom and honor.  Inform and educate yourself and make choices grounded in your head and heart, not your hormones, this Beltane season!


~~~A Few (unconventional) Beltane Resources~~~

CDC information on STD’s

CDC general STD information and curriculum tools

An STD information page from the University of Maryland

Coalition for Positive Sexuality ~ A free-online Sex education resource, including information on STD’s and Birth Control.

A Safer Sex information website from William’s College

National HIV and STD Testing Resources (US)

Timing and Focus…

are important to any endeavor… sadly I am lacking in both right now…. I am reading the blogs and listening to Pagan Radio Network and the Podcasts and thinking and feeling and sorting thoughts and feelings…

Bad and Good… lows and highs on an emotional and activity level roller coaster that is my life recently.  Been hanging out and having fun with Canita and Jolly (not their real names) another gay couple that the Big Guy knows from having dated and then become friends with Canita years ago… They had a delighful Valentines dinner at their place.

I’d love to be writing something insightful or at least thought out about any one of a dozen topics I have been planning on ranting on… celebrating Aphrodite this time of hear among them, thankfully Beth Owls Daughter over at Owl’s Wings wrote about the Golden Glorious Gluteused One recently…but I can’t seem to focus on those quite yet… I do feel like I am close to getting back in order though so that’s a blessing.

I have one new project that is near to completion… then I will be sharing and crowing about it….
I am also being drawn back into my study of the 8 Virtues of Witchcraft… as listed in the Charge?  I am working on/through them and writing for myself… perhaps someday to share with the world but I think it is one way I can start stretching my wings.

I have been watering the hibiscus we planted over Tiger’s burial place.  We set it up as a sort of memorial and to protect his remains from disturbance, leading to my partner’s occassionally surreal question…

“Did you water the cat today?”

… it is strange, now I have an unsought for especial spot to pour libations for the Honored and Beloved Dead.  Perhaps once we have made sure the Hibiscus is thriving I could place some charms or items there in memory of some of my other Honored’s and Beloved’s…

Hibiscus is used magically for its powers of divination and lust and love; and is associated with the element of water.  None of which is why we chose it for Tiger’s memorial planting.

Our first house together in Florida, house as opposed to apartment, had Hibiscus plants growing in front of some of the windows… providing a soothing green and ever flowering privacy and sun screen to our front windows.  It is an effect I liked and will replicate eventually in my homes in the future.  Hibiscus is thus my favorite flowering tropical yardscape plant although I will admit I am rather liking the idea of it as a memorial plant too given its Love and Divination associations!

More Later!!

Peace,

Pax

“maybe I’m some sort of idealist…”

I said.  To which The Big Guy looked at me bemusedly and responded

“Yes, you are.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am wrestling with how to respond to some stuff in the news lately.  There are a lot of incidents of Mormons and other supporters of the Yes on 8 campaign being harassed either by anonymous pranks or by angry ‘protester’s’.  Then there is the arson that was committed on the Wasilla Bible Church, the non-denominational church that Sarah Palin goes to now.

(The one you’ve seen online in the movie clips about the African preacher is an Assemblies of God church she was raised in and is less active in now that a few years ago…)

Anyway, the thing is…

If I am to stand up for my civil rights as a Gay man, or as a Pagan, then I must also be willing to stand up for every-ones civil rights.  Even the rights of those with whom I have theological or political disagreements; especially of those with whom I have political or theological disagreements!

This just seems such a simple and obvious thing to me that I am having trouble articulating it… thus today’s post…

Freedom of Speech, Freedom of Religion, Life, Liberty, The Persuit of Happiness, that All Men (and women, and all of those in between) Are Created Equal.  These are some of the ideals I hold dear.

It is very easy, once you start doing it, to stand up for your ideals and your beliefs and your rights.  It is much more difficult ( but it is the truest test of your ideals and your commitment to them) to stand up for those with whom you disagree.  If I am not willing to stand up for others and defend their rights as I would defend, or seek to ensure, my own; well, then those ideals mean nothing!

I wouldn’t really be caring about, focusing on, or standing up for, my ideals as I would be serving and focusing only on myself.  It is so important, yet so few people seem to get it!

For me, at least, a lot of it comes down to my faith as a Witch…

“Sing! Feast! Dance! Make music and Love

all in my praise and presence.

For mine is the Spirit of Ecstasy,

and mine as well is joy on Earth,

and Love Unto All Beings is My Law.”

~ From the Charge of the Goddess by Doreen Valliente

Love unto all beings.  Love to those who disagree with me.  Love to those who would see my rights limited because of my faith or of my sexual orientation.  Love unto ALL beings, even the difficult ones… especially the difficult ones, because they need it more!

I need to go to sleep now, and pray and meditate on this later…

Peace,

Pax

One Witches Journey… into activism and optimism

So…

I am blogging a lot more on my other site.  Or at least I am working on the site, and adding links and adding to the blog roll and learning a lot about my LGBT community.  I am also learning a lot about myself.  I am learning about my ideals, and my hopes and dreams.  I am also seeing, once more, the parallels between my two communities… the GLBT (or LGBT if you prefer) and the Pagan.  I find myself trying to figure out how to balance my new found passion for standing up for the Highest Ideals, with the practicality of working an exceptionally part time job and looking for work in one of the worst economies in the last 100 years.  Yet I feel more alive, more truly myself, when I am working on my GLBT civil rights blog, and when I am contemplating similar projects within the Pagan community.

In re-reading this post and contemplating publishing it I looked again at that last sentence…

Yet I feel more alive, more truly myself, when I am working on my GLBT civil rights blog, and when I am contemplating similar projects within the Pagan community.

Hmm… I am reminded of my ideas about Beauty, and my thought that when we are striving to live our Virtues as Witches, and to live out our Highest Ideals is when we are most Beautiful.  I also find myself remembering some of the times where I have invoked the Lord and Lady, and how at those times too I have felt most truly alive (if not necessarily myself).

I know that the weeks and months to come will require me to keep a balance between feeding my pocket book and feeding my soul.  In the past keeping a balance between my professional (or job) life and my spiritual and personal life has been a difficult zig-zagging between priorities.  I would like to believe that I am at a point in my life where I can actually do this, seemingly simple, balancing act.  So many other folks make this sort of thing look so blessed effortless!

I know that in these times feeding oneself, ones family, and ones pocketbook, is becoming increasingly difficult.  I know that there are a lot of tough decisions and times ahead.  In the end though, I am not afraid.

I know that the Lady and Lord are with me.

I know that if I continue to tread the path they have laid out for me, if I continue to speak and live in accordance with Truth, and Beauty, and the Highest of Ideals, if I strive to find within myself Love for All Beings, including myself, if I honor Them, and remember to honor the Gods and Godesses of my heart and the Heroes of my Nation; if I do these things I will find a way through the troubled times and I will be able to keep my ballance and do right by my Gods, my family, and myself.

Room enough to Love Them all…

So Cat over at Quaker Pagan Reflections has been pondering her identity as a Pagan vs. Quaker in relation to her relationship with the Gods recently.  I felt compelled to respond to a recent post about her own recent realizations on the matter with the following…

Cat,

I can readily understand the self-questioning you are feeling as you ponder the Herne/ Light Dichotomy. I have been a Witch for nearly 18 years now, and gave myself wholeheartedly to the Goddess and God of Witchcraft.

Over the course of last year I felt an urge, or perhaps even a calling, and turned to the Gods of Ancient Greece in general; and Hecate and Dionysus in particular.

In the weeks after offering a place in my heart and life to Them, I felt a bit adrift… wondering if I had somehow betrayed or turned my back on the Lord and Lady of the Witches without meaning too.

At Beltaine I held the first full Witches Circle I’ve done for myself in a long time, and They were there.

I think I am beginning to understand that our hearts, our lives, our innermost sacred selves, are much larger than we realize; there is room enough and love enough in them for all the Gods, for ourselves and for all beings… we just need to learn to look in ourselves to find those doors and open them.

Peace,
Pax

I am realizing how foolish I was to think that the Gods would either miss-interpret my intentions or that They could hold against me following inspirations of/to the heart and mind that They gave me.

Love unto all Beings is Her law.  Gods are beings too!  Simple really…

Love Unto All Beings

“Sing! Feast! Dance! Make music and Love all in my praise and presence.
For mine is the Spirit of Ecstasy, and mine as well is joy on Earth,
and Love Unto All Beings is My Law.”
~ From the Charge of the Goddess by Doreen Valliente

Early in my journey as a Pagan when I felt called to the faith of Witchcraft I tried to find a Coven, but could not. So I read and studied and practiced on my own. The Solitary Witches journey is a difficult one, and there are a lot of side paths, but it has been my path for 17 years now. I would not trade a moment of it because it is how I got to the wonderful place in life where I am today.

At one point, fairly early, in my journey I began to read and analyze the Charge of the Goddess, and other writings and liturgy within modern Witchcraft. For me the Charge is a divinely inspired work; as much so for the Witches faith as the Bible is to any Christian, the Koran to any Muslim. The text of Valliente’s Charge represents The Goddesses Own Words. In my studies I realized one day that the above quote was central to my understanding of the faith. Yet, surprisingly one never sees it given any emphasis in the written works about Witchcraft. Heck, sometimes it doesn’t even get mentioned unless the author quotes Valliente’s Charge, or one close to it.

I sometimes joke that as a Witch my Goddess instructs me to Love all people; unfortunately the way some of them choose to behave makes this very difficult!

The thing, for me at least, is that Love in the same sense of the word as Buddhists discuss Loving Kindness is so obviously a key part of the Witches journey. Or at least it seems obvious to me.

Love unto All Beings. This is the ideal. You know, one of the ones we are supposed to strive ever towards? The practice, well, the practice of this is much harder.

It starts with trying to honestly love yourself, your head, your heart, and your body. To act and think and make choices for oneself rooted in that love. Not to beat yourself up emotionally when you do or say something you regret, but to accept that you are mortal and mortals make mistakes. To Love and accept who you are, what you look like, where your life is right now, and the choices you have made that brought you here.

You may not be where you want to be. But as I’ve learned you cannot change your life for the better until you can see yourself and your choices clearly with both love and acceptance. From that place, which can be tricky to find sometimes, you can move on to finding love within yourself for others. Loving them for who they are, not what you wish they were, and sometimes in spite of what they do or have done.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Loving Links
Loving Kindness ~ redirects to Metta on Wikipedia
Facets of Metta ~ an essay by Sharon Salzberg
The Lady Arising, Aphrodite, Goddess of Peace and Love ~ links about this most multifaceted of Goddesses