Category: Meditation

6 Breaths and making the time…

On By PaxIn An Important Message..., Food for Thought, Meditation, Notes on the Journey, Unitarian Universalist2 Comments

Dear Friends,

I have been having a LOT of synchronicities go on lately around Writing and Meditation and Practice…

One of those moments and one that is sticking with me is a conversation I had with my Minister from Orlando’s 1U, a U.U. congregation.  We were talking about how incredibly busy things are, and will be for a while, at our Church.  Rev. Kathy is our newly settled Minister and our Church is growing from what is called a Pastoral sized Church into a Program Sized Church, meaning that the number of people is greater than any one person can know or intuit the state-of-the-congregation…. in such a situation you need strong governance and a solid organization and sense of what group and activity relates to/reports to whom… basically there is a LOT going on…

After a meeting/discussion with her earlier this week I made the comment that it was a very lucky thing she was already a practitioner of meditation…

“I take a lot of inspiration from the fact that Science has proven that you can change your body chemistry with just 6 breaths…” she said, as she related how synchronicity had played an important part in her own journey when she had just finally committed to meditation shortly before facing a nurological illness that mimicked M.S., that was cleared up with Antibiotics (given for something else) after 3 years… as she related it was a good thing she had discovered Meditation right before that!

I have been working at my regular practices for, well, months now…   Centering and Grounding and Breathing Into my Chakras and Prayer  …at the same time I have danced back and forth with both my professional development, my spiritual development and Practice, and the many many shiny things that call to my A.D.D. blessed self for attention.  That comment about 6 breaths has stuck with me.

“If all you have time for in a day is those 6 breaths, then that’s what you do…” was the observation Rev. Kathy made…

We tell ourselves we don’t have time, we tell ourselves we will get to it tomorrow; and we lie to ourselves, and undervalue, and undermine ourselves all too damn often!  So I am continuing in my journey to breathe, to sit in silence for 10 minutes.  To do what I desire, and need to do and deal with, each day even if its baby steps.  Take time, dear friends, on your own journeys to dive deep into yourself and your practice … even if some days its just those 6 breaths!

Peace,

Pax / Geoffrey

Our Power and The World

On By PaxIn Community Building, Creativity, everyday, Food for Thought, Meditation, Pagan Ponderings1 Comment

“A religion that takes no account of practical affairs and does not help to solve them is no religion.”~widely attributed to M.K. Ghandi

“I wonder if this is why so many people talk about being ‘spiritual’, and not religious?”~Pax

Dear Friends,

I was originally working on this as a response in the comment stream but it started to get unwieldy for such a venue and, really, what good is a blog unless one can rant upon it on topics that stir the passions?

So it all started with Thorn Coyle’s Facebook page where she posted about the MoveOn.Org political action to support Senator Bernie Sanders and speak out against tax breaks for billionaires…

(my Senators voicemail box is full, so I will at the least draft a polite e-mail and try calling back)

Anyhow, someone said,

“My new age friends think I’m driving myself away from the “Source” by being so involved in the negative energies of the political process. My feeling is the “Source” has “heart” and a sense of “righteousness” and holds Bernie Sanders very close to Itself. Where else did this 69 year old man get the energy to stay on his feet for 8 1/2 hours!?!”

I breathed a prayer of patience and replied,

” ______, I think its time to lovingly explain to your new age friends that some of our best exemplars did not retreat but engaged in the political process and even revolutionized it in the face of overwhelming negativity.
You know, like Ghandi and Martin Luther King?
You can also point out that if they are so afraid of their light or fire being drowned out by the negativity of the political process then clearly it is not particularly bright nor well fueled,…but then I’ve been accused of having an attitude problem…”

Another of my Friends, B, said,

“…I’ve run into that attitude; I think a good bit of it has more to …do with laziness and Ostrich Syndrome than any higher level of enlightenment.”

I know where the fabulous Ms. B is coming from with that and part of me would tend to agree with her, and yet…

I’d say its more likely the constant stream of information/propaganda/advertising bombarding us from the over-culture saying how

“You aren’t good/attractive/ worth/strong/healthy enough, unless you buy this….” ,

or

“What difference could one person make these days….”,

or, most insidiously,

“It’s not your responsibility because…..”

You, know… the sort of messages that seem to be rapid fired at us day in and day out from birth onward with few exceptions?  What we put into our hearts and minds and eyes and ears influences our lives easily as much as what we put in out mouths folks!

I would also say that some of the difficulty comes from the very poorly understood differences between the core ideas and rules of Magick as a spiritual practice and a tool for communicating with the Universe, and between magical thinking.

A true Magick worker, whether their Practice is grounded in Religion or from a more Philosophical and Practical basis, does some sort of discernment practice to figure out if Magick is the best option, if not they find mundane ways to get things done.  If Magick is indicated, they do their Magick AND act in accord both before and after the Spell or Ritual is done.

If a Magick Worker wants to bring more money into their life  The spend time before the Ritual or Spell engaging in some serious discernment, they ask why isn’t the money they’ve got coming in enough?   Have they been open to new income streams/job opportunities?   They look at their budget and spending habits.  THEN, if their answers tell them they need to do more, they START by doing a Ritual or Spell.  THEN they update their resume.  They look at their current job situation and see what they can do to improve their job and  income prospects.   They work to be more aware and ready to receive whatever blessings come their way.   They bend their every pre- and post, Spell or Ritual, efforts and thoughts and actions to their Goal.

Magical thinking just wishes for more money and tries to have a positive attitude.

To reference another widely popular paraphrase of Ghandi, being the change you want to see in the world, means more than just being!  As a result of changing ones state of being, can we really call ourselves changed if our actions and reactions do not undergo similar changes?   Whether you are trying to effect or affect change you’ve got to DO something for the change to happen.

Now I have yet to run down a direct citation for the quote I opened with today, I am choosing to include it anyway because it resonated with me in relation to this conversation I found myself in.  Which also stirred within me the response of my own I have quoted up at the beginning of this piece;  all too often in the Pagan community you run into these New-Agey Crystals&Light types talking about how…

“I’m Spiritual but not Religious…”

With this air of superiority or especial purity or something… like religion is icky and messy somehow, which it is but not for the reasons they think.  What, you may wonder, do I mean by that? Let’s invoke the power of Words…

Merriam Webster defines Spiritual as…

“1: of, relating to, consisting of, or affecting the spirit : incorporeal <spiritual needs>
2a : of or relating to sacred matters <spiritual songs> b : ecclesiastical rather than lay or temporal <spiritual authority> <lords spiritual>
3: concerned with religious values…”
Which gets interesting when you look up spirit… most of which relates back to the idea of an individuals spirit or soul.

Merriam Webster defines Religious as…

“1: relating to or manifesting faithful devotion to an acknowledged ultimate reality or deity <a religious person> <religious attitudes>

2: of, relating to, or devoted to religious beliefs or observances <joined a religious order>…”
The first fierce irony is that the two words are SYNONYMS… they have nearly the same meaning and you could just as easily say
“I’m Spiritual but not Spiritual,” or “I’m Religious but not Religious.”
…and be making just about as much sense.
The second fierce irony, is that someone who is Spiritual is focused upon themselves and what affects them.  Someone who is Religious is concerned with the world and universe outside themselves.  So what these folks who like to position themselves as above the fray of various political or social concerns, or who like to distance themselves from ACTION on issues with a smile and talk of being spiritual rather than religious are REALLY saying is…
“I’m more interested in myself than in anything outside myself…”
Of course this doesn’t sound NEARLY as mysterious or mystical…
I think the true goal should be to balance Religion and Spirituality in ones life.
Peace,
Pax
PS-  YES, I understand that as a part of our Spiritual journeys many of us are healing from difficult or traumatic experiences in our past Religions, but the Gods or the Universe are NOT going to just go away because you run away from them and focus on your navel people!  It is not just that The Gods want us to be happy and whole and powerful, shouldn’t we want it too?
12/27/2010
UPDATE:  In getting caught up on some things, I came across the recent Sermon Spirit of Life by my Minister, Rev. Kathy, she preached this one on one of the week-ends whilst I was out with sinus-ick.  In this Sermon she discussed some compelling ideas and definitions of Spirituality…and I am juggling these ideas with those I presented above and am seeing what new patterns of thought emerge….
Peace,
Pax

Solsticetide Eclipse and learning to respect the moments momentous and mundane…

On By PaxIn An Important Message..., Blame Sannion, everyday, Food for Thought, Gospel Pagan, Meditation, My Florida Sabbats, SolsticeLeave a comment

Dear Friends,

Tonight I have had the privilege of seeing the Waning and Waxing Crescent within hours of each other.  The chill night air and the Moon in the sky dancing with the shadow of the Earth.  Strange to watch this celestial dance and think of how they and we are all, somehow, the stuff of stars.

Thou art God, Thou art Goddess, we and They are all one and many and interconnected and miraculous.

There is wonder in this old Universe yet!  Once more the Child of Promise is stirring, as the Crone and Maiden and Mother dance in the jewel bedecked halls of Night.  The Miracles of the Solstice are nigh, my friends, and we will welcome Him back into life and light soon.  Solstice Eve tonight (21st) and Solstice Day in the morning (22nd), and we shall welcome a New Year round soon.

I have always related to the Solstices and Equinoxes as major occasions, a natural result of an Alaskan upbringing when the Winter Solstice shall see 4 hours of daylight if the sky is not blanketed with thick gray clouds.  The Winter Solstice is the turning of my spiritual New Year, followed shortly by the Calendarical…

Drink deeply of mystery and wonder and poetry and promise my friends, drink deeply of mulled wine or sweet Sangria and Breathe deep the Breath of Life and sing and hope and dream and smile and laugh and feast with friends.  Whether you huddle round a bonfire in a chill night or spend the night bbq-ing with friends, or savoring stew cooked on the stove of by the fireside.  Light Candles and kindle fires and stare deep into flames listening to the wisdom from the flickering tongues that whispered to our ancestors oh so ever so long ago.

There is wonder and power in any Winter Solstice, and this one is more precious still for the overlapping of the Eclipse…  and yet one of the lessons of my own journey that I am filled to overflowing with this year as I feel the strange alchemy of the Solstice tide turn what had been a sense of stillness turned to stagnation and a spiritual bleakness cracking open to the wonder and possibilities and hope of this time of year; one of the lessons I have learned and should like to share is this, there is wonder and magick and Mysteries and power and possibility in our simplest acts if we open to it.

I am reminded of this, especially this time of year as I watch so many people get caught up in the mad rush of days, indeed a dear friend, who lives in the North East U.S., expressed exhaustion at everything that needed doing this Holiday Season… and some part of me began to flow with the first stirrings of the Solstice miracles…. I wrote to her…

Breathe the breath of life, Inspire, draw in life giving air, life force, and Spirit, take a step and feel air and blood and magick flow. 

Know the simple blessing of breath and movement and magick. Feel the blessed benediction of the bloo…d in your veins. Where there is soreness then stop for a moment, stand and breathe into the pain… sending air and energy to whatever needs strengthening and balancing loosening the pain and repositioning your body until it moves from “ow” to “ah, that’s alright”, then stride forward once more with grace and ease.

Movement is more purposeful now, more the prowl of a panther than the leap of a gazelle, but every movement and every breath and every conscious action is a blessing and benediction unto ourselves and the world.

If we remember the powers of Air and the benediction of breath.

~~~

Light a candle, or pour a hot toddy, take a moment to warm yourself by the wood-stove or the fire or simply with hands clasped around a cup of strong black tea with cinnamon and citrus rind…. take a moment to breath in the fragrant steam, take a moment to lose yourself in the candles flame.

Look inside yourself and seek your spiritual fire and inner light. Take a breath and send air and energy to your personal fires, take a breath and open yourself to the Light of Lady and Lord, to His Light, to The Light of which we and They are a part.

Remember the blessings and benedictions of Fire.

~~~

Bundle up and take your freshly poured tea outside a moment. Look at the snow and ice around you and realize that one of Mysteries of Water is that it can be so many things…. It can be hard enough to scour the mountains to fine fertile dust, in can fall and fly crystalline and wind borne, it can flow along the earth, it can fall warm or cold from the sky… We are also capable of many things and forms in our emotions and our ways of acting and reacting…

Make a snowball and throw it at a wall, how does it react on impact? How are you reacting to the impacts from the mad rush of days?

Take a likely icicle and stir your tea with it, cooling the overheated liquid until it is drinkable, turning a burning liquid into nourishment, Transformation…

Go inside and mix salt and water and draw stars and snowflakes on your window panes… leave them a while and then when the patterns shine through later remember to yourself that you can transform you can choose how to react and what form your spirit and emotions shall take..

Take time for a hot hot bath, or a shower and a lustral bath, with soothing herbs…

Luxuriate in the Mysteries of the Waters…

~~~

Breathe in the fragrant scent of the pines, stir up a pot of stew on the stove, light a few scented candles in the rooms of the house and just take some time reveling in your home. It is a place of wonder and blessings and nourishment and nurturance. Determine to take 10 minutes to do nothing but sit in Your Spot and sip something and eat something and silently enjoy Your home and hearth and what health you have.

Bake something for your beloveds, go through the pantry and see what supplies you need to stock up on so that on the next expedition you can fill the pantry and plan something special for those you love and for yourself…

Savor the mysteries of Earth….
~~~

We are all magickal, we are all miraculous, there is wonder and power aplenty if we open ourselves to them.  Whatever your climate, wherever you are dear friends, you too can take time, MUST make and take the time to savor the moments and the Mysteries.
Bright Blessings and Much Love to you all,
Pax

Liberation VS. Escapism

On By PaxIn everyday, Food for Thought, Meditation3 Comments

Religion and Spirituality can be a powerful and empowering part of our lives leading us into a greater relationship with the Divine-as-we-comprehend-it, and with a greater and healthier relationship with our truest selves and with the world around us.

Religion and Spirituality can be a running away from our lives, our unhappiness, our personal responsibility; escapism of the most dangerous and seductive sort.

The Choice is ours.

The idea that religion and spirituality can be either a Liberation or Escapism is not particularly new, but I think it is an important one to discuss within the Pagan faiths.  One of the toughest lessons for me to learn early in my own journey as a Witch and Pagan was that folks come to religion for a wide variety of reasons, some of them having little to do with faith or religious devotion/experience; and I had to unlearn my own half-formed idea that Paganism was somehow insulated from this phenomenon.

It is not.

There are so many folks who seem to dive into the more mystical or magic oriented ends of the contemporary Pagan spectrum blinded by the shiny ideas of magic, and especially spells, and power over ones world without seeming to acknowledge that magic is 25% learning the connections between self and symbol and reality,25% learning and growing into a new perception of the world around us through understanding those connection, 25% changing our relationships and interactions and growing in personal power and will and coming to a greater understanding of ones True Will as a result of these new understanding and perceptions, and 25% miracle and mystery.

All too often Magic is reduced to spells and sparkle; rather than the powerful folk parapsychology that it can be.

Then you have folks for whom some piece of their own particular paths narrative is an escape from the current day or their own unhappiness.  The ones who dive into inaccurate history and a wildly a-historical personal mythological narrative; AND  the ones who zero in on one particular era of history in their reconstruction and decry any other interpretation of the Gods and faith from before or after that particular era, or who embrace even the most repellent prejudices or bigotries of that specific culture at that specific time.

In my own spiritual journey I had the recent realization that a big part of why I ended up wandering off the Witchy and Pagan path for some years was related to the issues of Liberation and Escapism.

Even though I could see and perceive and experience the many ways in which the practice of my spirituality and faith as a Witch were leading me to greater personal strength and a deeper understanding of myself and a healthier relationship with the world around me… at the same time I was not dealing with the mundane issues at work in my life, like dissatisfaction with work and living in a bad housing situation and so many of the other planes of stability as Thorn has labeled them in her writing and teaching…. so even as I pursued the Liberation of my self and spirit, I was also using that pursuit as an Escape rather than confronting those things that I was seeking escape from!

Liberation and Escapism, embracing and wrestling with one another, like the Divine Twins from the Feri Tradition lore.

My mind turns to the Yin-Yang symbols, or to the DNA double Helix two strands interwoven and interconnected.  Liberation is not all good nor is escapism entirely bad.  Without a strong and stable and healthy grounding in the everyday and mundane all the spiritual and magical and religious Liberation in the world is only going to send you into some far off extreme of disconnection and fantasy…right into the arms of Escapism.  At the same time, Escapism is the thinnest of lines and the shortest of steps difference from the Refuge or safe harbor that one can find on the spiritual path in the tumults of the world.

I think the key is in there somewhere… Is my path to Liberation grounded in stability?  Is my spirituality a safe harbor from the tumults of the world, a safe place to go to for a time, or is it mere Escapism – a running away from things that scare or worry or intimidate me that I must turn around and face?

I keep asking myself that and keep doing my spiritual work around that.

Meditation 2/12/2010

On By PaxIn Blame Sannion, Meditation8 Comments

I take a deep breath in, in through my nose with the air and inspiration.  The air that connects me to all living things, drinking in the wise words and prayers of the world…. and the car exhaust and cussing, but part of the spiritual path of a Witch and part of Magic is knowing what to focus on and what to allow into your deepest heart and mind and soul…

I breathe deeply, in through the nose and out through my mouth, the tip of my tongue touches the roof of my mouth and tastes the breath of life that I breathe.  I try to focus on my out-breath, as I had read about from one of my Teachers… one of my Books… there’s the rub, books have always been my closest and first teachers.  Not that I haven’t found other Witches and Spiritual Traveler’s to share tales and wisdom with, but a lot of that sharing and wisdom has been at a distance, through books and then websites and blogs and podcasts as I find very, very far-flung folk that I find I know and trust.

Opening my heart with honesty and integrity as I try to the best I can with this lifetime of mine.

I breathe in, I breathe out.  I am thinking

….taste the breath of life… breathing, breathing out….

I sit cross-legged on the floor, hands cupped upward in the bowl of my lap.  That is how I sit when on the floor lately, trying to be open, receptive…. different from the “throne” posture I adopt when I meditate seated in a chair, feet flat on the floor and hands palms down on my knees and back straight, strong and self contained….

Thinking….

….breathing in, breathing out….

“open” and “enthroned” the need for balance… I roll my neck and am reminded of the need to expand my practice to include physical as well as metaphysical exercise… tomorrow I tell myself, always tomorrow…

…back to the breath of life…

Then of course theres the balance of living and engaging in a community like the one I find at Church, definitely the direction of a welcoming and afirming place for my spiritual growth and to make new friends… with out diving in too wildly and getting over whelmed…. *sigh* … releasing a little extra bit of tension?  fear? doubt? well, something anyway as I return to breathing out…

I breathe in, I breath out,

I breathe the Breath of Life,

I breathe the whispers of the leaves of the trees,

I breathe the sighs of forlorn lovers across the sea,

I breathe with the singers of hymns from across the many lands,

I breathe the prayers for peace from far off places,

I breathe in the perfume of the decadent flowers and pleasure gardens of the world,

I breathe in, I breathe out,

And, I return to the Breath of Life.

Rekindling my Sacred Fires

On By PaxIn Blame Sannion, Brigid, Community Building, Creativity, everyday, Food for Thought, Hellenic Polytheism, Imbolc, Imbolc Blogging, Meditation, Modern Pagan, My Florida Sabbats, Reinventing the Wheel, remembering, Unitarian Universalism, witcheryLeave a comment

As the annual Brighid Poetry Slam messages out there have probably already high-lighted for us, Imbolc-tide is upon us once more.  Depending on your individual faith or path as a Pagan, Imbolc or Oimelc can mean many different things.  Those meanings also change depending on matters of where you live and whether you celebrate as a Solitary Pagan or in a Group, and whether your Faith or Path even observes Imbolc or if it’s one of those Holidays that you sometimes go out to a community event for, simply for the Pagan fellowship, or to humor a friend; but for me it has come to be The Festival of Rekindling…

Growing up, and becoming a Witch, in Anchorage,Alaska early February was that time of year where you really started to see and appreciate the returning of the daylight.  In late February/Early March you also had the excitement of the approaching Fur Rendezvous, an annual Winter Carnival held in Anchorage.   So for the longest time Imbolc was a celebration of the returning light and of the first stirrings of the return of light and life and activity after the mad rush of celebrating the Beloved Living at Yule.

The last few years, though, I have had trouble figuring out what Imboc means to me.

Living in Florida the returning of the light is much less a dramatic or sought after turning of the Wheel, and it’s kind of difficult to get into its associations as celebrating the first signs/stirrings of spring when the citrus harvest is finishing up and the Strawberry harvest is on its way… part of my ongoing journey as I seek to truly understand this strange new sub-tropical world of mine.

Imbolc meaning “In the Belly”; Oimelc meaning “ewe’s milk.  Birth, beginnings, creativity, and renewal… those begin to feel closer to the truth of this Sabbat for me.   Though I don’t have much,  except that of a 1/4 Irish lineage, of a relationship with Brigid whose festival Imbolc is widely honored as, She is the Goddess of Sacred Fires and Sacred Springs.  Smithcraft, Arts and Crafts, Poetry, Spirituality, and Healing, Nurturing, Hearthcraft.

These feel, in that deep part of my soul that is touched by the sacred, like the right track…

So before I went to bed this morning (one of the many hazards of an overnight job…) I turned off the computer and the phone, I lit a stick of incense and before I blew out the flame used that stick to light a candle.  I sat holding the candle-glass cupped gently in my hands and meditated a bit.  I sought, not silence really, but clarity.  I let my mind wander over the last few days…

I thought about the New member’s potluck at First Unitarian, how enjoyable it was even though I am clumsy at best at social mixers with large groups of people.  I thought about meeting my sponsor/mentor Mary and talking with here about things around church.  My mind turned to the words of the Chalice lighting  we use at our U.U. Church…

“In the Light of Truth,

In the Warmth of Love,

We gather to seek, to sustain, and to share.”

(and for those of you who are thinking “isn’t the Chalice a tool of water?!” Yes, it is, but there’s more than one way to wield a symbol and a tool!   Here is a link about the Unitarian and Unitarian Universalist flaming Chalice)

My mind also thought about how very, very much I enjoyed cooking my variation of Mom’s Classic Greenbeans (a Stewart family Holiday classic!)  for the Potluck; and how eager I was to volunteer to help my mentor Mary by volunteering to put together a Jambalaya for the New Orleans themed coffee hour…

I really do love to cook and it feels good to be able to use the skills and knowledge of years of work and study, and my recent schooling, in a productive way.  I actually see a lot of my future work in Community Building in the Pagan Community as a way to take those experiences and skills and offer them in Service to others… fundraisers and social events of all sorts!

I am really a hearth-Witch at heart I think, not necessarily limited to my own home; more that I am deeply drawn to and my gifts seem to lay in matters of Hearth and Community building.

Thoughts of the Hearth transition my thoughts from my Witchcraft to my Hellenic Polytheism and naturyally bring to mind Hestia.  She who IS the Hearth, and the Hearth Fire, the Sacred light giving, nurturuing, nourishing fire in our homes and lives.  Given this long present, but not entirely acknowledged or understood grounding I have in matters of the Hearth,  I need to find a way to honor Her especially as I seek to Honor the Theoi Ktesioi, the Gods of the Home,  in the coming year on the Noumenia and in my life.

THE THEOI KTESIOI were the gods of house and home. They were led by Zeus protector of the home (Ctesius) and of the family courtyard (Hicesius) along with Hestia, the goddess of the hearth. Hecate and Hermes were also important household gods who protected the gates and entranceways. -from an entry at Theoi.com

Chronologically, my thoughts carried me to the next day and back to thoughts of Witchcraft.   Waking up early at 3pm and performing my first, full and formal Witches Circle in…. well, in ages.  I remember how wonderful it felt to finally and formally welcome them into my live and works and to share with the Guardians of the Watchtowers in the Blessings of the Lady and Lord.  I had not realized how much I missed the immediacy and intimacy of my connection and communion with Them in a full Circle.

Then after Circle there was the mad rush of shopping for and prepping the ingredients for the Jambalaya, then work from 11pm-7am, then rushing home to actually cook the blessed dish, then off to Church to help with the coffee hour and to act as a Greeter.

My thoughts ranged over how much I am enjoying being involved in a community once more, and how eager I am to use my talents, experience, and education in service to that community.  Not only First Unitarian, but also the Mystic Grove, which is the Pagan/Heathen Affinity Group at the Church.  I am in that tricky stage of getting involved, but trying to not over commit myself or over extend myself… very tough to do for me, and from some of the conversations I’ve had with others at the Church I would guess U.U.’s in general.  This congregation, at least, seems to have a lot of that ‘somebody should do something about this’ energy that is so familiar to me…

I had to laugh to myself when someone described a Unitarian Universalist congregation like “herding cats”, how many times had I heard that phrase used to describe Pagan community… many!

I also, oddly enough, thought of the new involvement I have with a table-top role-playing group, getting my geek on and making new friends and reveling in the creativity and imagination of this cherished and long neglected hobby….

So for me the Festival of Rekindling is a time renew and recommit to those things that nurture the self and nurture and reconnect us to the wider world.  To take pleasure in our creativity, to explore and contemplate our new beginnings or what we might begin as the Wheel turns.  To celebrate the return to life and activity after the period of rest after the Winter Holidays.

As I breathed in my meditations by the light of that candle’s flame, focusing ever so slightly on the out-breath, I imagined breathing onto a charcoal or onto kindling, nurturing the fire with my breath to bring it to fullness and life…

Then after some Still and Sillent meditation, I blew out the candle, and welcomed the light of dawn.

“we extinguish the flame,

But not the light of truth,

The warmth of community,

Or the fire of commitment,

These we carry in our hearts until we are together again.”

May your Hearth and Home be blessed,

May you have food and clothing to warm your body,

May you have good friends to share your blessings with to warm your heart and soul,

May you find beauty and inspiration and creativity in your journey,

Blessed be!

And, as always,

Peace,

Pax

“New Years Day”

On By PaxIn Blame Sannion, Halloween, magick, Meditation, remembering, Seeking, spiritual practiceLeave a comment

How are you spending the day after Halloween/Samhain my dear Pagani?

Here’s some of how I spent mine…

I light the Ocean Breeze Spa Candle that sits on the bathroom counter. (Why yes, as a cavalier, why do you ask?!)

I light the candle, I turn out the lights and run as-hot-as-I-can-take-it water into the bathtub.  I position myself into the typical modern apartment  shoe-box of a bath tub as it fills.  I add some soap, and I do my best to soak.  The steam caresses my lungs with each breath as much as the heat relaxes my flesh.   I begin to really breath, deep conscious breaths.

In through the nose and out through the mouth.  In and out, deep conscious breaths trying to be as present in the moment and paying attention to the sound and sensations of this life drinking and energy raising breathing.  After a few moments I begin to breath the energy and air into my center, somewhere below my stomach and above my pelvis it sits, long neglected.  This new way of finding it combined with the deep breathing, long familiar to me for raising energy and getting in touch with my own energies, triggers an energetic sense memory…

After a while I find myself moving my breaths and energies destination to my Root Chakra.  Even though I have begun working with grounding exorcises and with my Chakra’s again, I am still very rusty.  I take a good long time breathing into my Root Chakra, resisting the temptation to move up through my chakra’s quickly… unlike so many times before I am not doing this as part of some other work, or for grounding centering and shielding… I am breathing life and energy and air into my Center and my energy centers to relax my spirit as I have relaxed my body.

In through the nose and out through the mouth, with great “Shhh-ing exhales” as I breath the energy into my Root Chakra, after a few moments I find myself not only drawing energy through my breath; but I find myself calling to the Earth energy and to the Creative Firey and Feri currents from the Earths Core, drawing them up into the red wheel/lotus at my perineum.    Slowly, I feel like I have properly opened and relaxed this Chakra and I move up to the Sacral Chakra… I find myself wondering about the relationship between the Center point and this Chakra, seeming from my own sensations and from what I have learned so far to be so close together.  Are they the same or simply very close?  Very close I think/feel.  I breathe, once more resisting the temptation to simply run up this string of Spinning Lights within me, I take my time.

I take my time with each of them.  I empty the tub and go to my computer to listen to the Samhain podcasts, read the posts, and to think about how it is that I find some pieces of my soul blossoming.  Samhain has, for me, always marked an inward turning time, coupled with the blossoming cooling to temperate temperatures of a Florida Autumn as we move toward the many fruit harvests of Winter here in the Sunshine State, I suppose it’s only natural that one who seeks to align with Natures rhythms would start to bloom once more this time of year.

Peace,

Pax

Still here…

On By PaxIn Blame Sannion, Creativity, Meditation2 Comments

So I am trying to blog here regularly, and to work through my journaling and self-improvement efforts.  I am also trying to pull together an article for Thorn.

…I just have been having trouble finding my creativity or my passion….

I breathe deeply, in through the nose and out through my mouth, taking in breath and energy into my heart chakra and into my Center, somewhere in between my base and my sacral chakras.   I see myself in my Witches Cottage, my own special place of imagination and magic… that I sometimes flatter myself to believe is on the Astral Plane.  I see myself sweeping and cleaning and moping and picking things up and … somone else is doing some work on the door and part of the roof… as big storm came through but its still there.

…and so am I.  So is my creativity… even if I am having trouble reaching into it.

I am also listening to my podcasts, including the new Spiritscast from Feithline Stuart, the podcaster formerly known as Darkly Fey of the Darkside of Fey with her fabulous new podcast….  And I’ve lately been listening to the Pagan Centered Podcast.

… I’ve started taking an interest in things again… been trying to catch the news again, and searching out the blogs… and just trying to get involved in things again.  I made it back to services at Church recently, and had a delightful conversation with Mama Rhaevyn recently….
Things are getting better and going good!

Practicing Silence and Stillness

On By PaxIn Blame Sannion, everyday, Meditation, Notes on the Journey, remembering, Seeking, spiritual practice, The Numinous Divine, witchery3 Comments

Dear Friends and Pagani,

So, in the midst of everything else lately, I finally made it to the Thursday Night Buddhist Meditation Group that meets at my local U.U….

Despite having written about meditation as a part of regular spiritual practice, and despite having regularly meditated in the past, and despite knowing the importance and benefits… I have a very noisy mind, and a great deal of trouble cultivating stillness within myself.  I theorized that it might help to jump-start my practice, and break my noisy mind and fidgeting flesh to the twin yokes of Stillness and Silence to meditate with others.

It is, as I mentioned, a Buddhist Meditation group and they practice Vipassana (Insight) meditation in the Theraveda Tradition.  Everyone sat in a circle of chairs in the Church library.   We went around the circle and each of us checked in for the week or introduced ourselves.  Then we meditated for 25 minutes.  Then there was a short reading on the topic of Non-Attachment to Ideas and Beliefs.  (here, and here, for more)

“Then we meditated for 25 minutes…”

Strange how simple it sounds…

You sit,still, silent.  You should avoid moving, except for a slight movement if you start to feel some pain in the body you may mindfully shift position to relieve the pain.  Your are silent, and focusing on your breathing, striving to keep it quiet. I settled into my oft turned too pattern of in-through-the-nose, and out-through-the-mouth.

Your mind may wander, and that is o.k., when it does so you are to let those thoughts go and return to your breathing, and the silence, and the stillness.

I thought I was relaxed.  The lights were turned down low and there was a tea-light candle lit to help even out the amount of light in the room.  I was seated with my arms at my sides and my, incredibly sore and work-tired-and-tense, feet up on a Zafu.  Then we started…

My throat was the first part of my body to seemingly rebel against  the program.  The muscles in it felt like they desperately wanted or needed movement and speech!  I swallowed a few times, trying to let this strange sensation just be and relax my throat and remember my breathing.  My mind, however, wandered into thoughts of how much I speak during the day… how often I fill silence with speech, even when alone, rather than just thinking… and it’s usually stuff that on some level is meant to distract me from feelings or thoughts I am uncomfortable with… I fill my days with so much noise…

Then I realized that those were thoughts and I returned to my breathing and stillness and silence.  In through the nose, and out through the mouth.  Focusing on my breath and letting the rhythm of send me back to stillness and silence… then I started… somewhere along the way I had almost lulled to sleep!

I carry tension with me so much of the time!  I am hardly ever really, really relaxed unless I am going to bed or asleep.  When did I stop relaxing… was it related to the deterioration of my recently ended relationship with The Big Guy?  What about….

Those are thoughts….

In through the nose, out through the mouth.  In, and, out.   Breath.  Stillness.  Silence.

My ears feel stuffed up, or, is that a ringing?  My life is so filled with noise, in the absence of it do I simply find ways to create it?  What is it that causes me to flee…. and I am thinking agian…

Nose.  Mouth.  Breath. ???

Stillness and silence and quiet and calm.

I didn’t sit in the hand of Goddess or anything, but I was able to reach a place of Deep Peace and calm, I still fidgeted a bit, but it was the mindful repositioning rather than thinking and reacting about it; and with mindfulness and attention, a sense of clarity and calm and quiet.

I did not fall into the Silence and Stillness so much as dive struggling into it, like trying to reach the bottom of a pool full of pudding, but I found some small measure of …calm.

After the after meditation discussion, I continued to have a feeling of deep peace and calm and joy.  I decided to drive home without turning on the car radio… I enjoyed a measure of silence…

I haven’t sat in full meditation in the last couple of days… but I have… reached into the memory and experience of it?  Focusing on my breath for a little while and trying to resettle to cloak of quiet and calm upon my shoulders once more.

I think that I shall sit tonight, at the close of the day… I wonder if my mistake before was to try and sit at the beginning of the day when my monkey mind is all unruly and…. those, are thoughts…

Peace,

Pax