I stand before the altar on the windowsill. I take a deep breath and feel the air entering my lungs, a whisp of power entering my body.  Drawing them in and down, the magick, the life force, flowing down through my body and bones, legs and muscles, and feet and veins extending down into the ground beneath me. I find myself changing my stance as something deep inside my body and soul opens or reawakens.  My shoulders drop, my feet shuffle into a wider more stable stance, my muscles relax and my posture straightens.

I take another few deep breaths savoring the sense of reconnection with the earth below me, the sky above me, and the wide world around me.  Then slowly I breathe and draw the energies of the earth and the world up into me and into each of my energy centers in turn, a few breaths for each from the base of my spine to the crown of my skull, and up into the sky above as I strive to reconnect to the many parts of myself and to the holy universe all around me.

After a time, I look to the altar before me.  Taking up a stick of incense in my left hand, and the latest of many specially chosen lighters in my right…

“It begins with a breath, as I rekindle the fires”

Said as I light the end of the incense, holding my breath for a moment as the flame at the tip dances and kindles itself into being.

I set the lighter down and move the flaming tip of the fragrant stick in the shape of the Sign of The Crossroads, calling silently with my yearning and Will to the many powers of the crossroads and liminality as I speak the words of invocation

“Round, Round, Wrap Around, Protect me now, from Sky to Ground.”

The scented smoke wafts into the air, briefly holding the shape of the Sign before drifting, as I reconnect with magick and power and mystery.  Transferring the stick to my right hand as I slowly move it towards the altar, running it back and forth as I mutter my greetings to the Dead, the Spirits, the Witchfather, and Hecate.  Swirling the smoke in each of their offering cups in turn, before going to another household altar and greeting and blessing the Morrigan’s offering cup.

I return to the windowsill altar and set the incense stick into the bowl of salt and sand and ashes.

I then uncap the bottle of Florida Water and splash offerings of perfume into the various offering cups.

I stand for a few moments in contemplation.  The offering cups had sat neglected for all too long, and then were emptied and thoroughly cleaned before sitting fallow for a time.  Now the first of a new cycle offering sits within them perfuming the air, the scent dancing with the scent of my incense.  Stirring my mind and memories with thoughts of renewal and recovery and reconnection.

Then it is time to turn to doing some devotional dishes, and cleaning, in the company of and in the spirit of welcoming and respecting The Holy Powers.

Friends,

A couple of weeks ago, I realized I had been running largely on empty.

Scheduling upheavals at work, and several weeks where every one of my days off were largely chock full of appointments with diverse doctors and dentists for both myself and my beloved. In the immediate aftermath of Jon’s stroke there had been a flurry of spell craft and offerings and prayer, and then with the onslaught of events I had cut my practices to the bare minimum. Over time I fell into an old and familiar trap of “later”.

I’ll deal with it later, or so I told myself. Whether it was my regular practices, or different housework, or making the time and conscious decision for genuinely nourishing forms of me-time and self-care.

 I had fallen down a new rabbit hole, Tiktok, even made a few videos there (and will be making more) but a lack of free time and a surplus of bad timing has been thwarting me. Since Jon’s stroke in August, after an intense flurry of prayer and spell crafting that first week, I pretty much kept things to the simplest of regular practices. Grounding, Centering, up through my Chakra’s, and prayer.

That was the game plan anyhow…  but with the mad rush of events and appointments I, once again, found myself slipping into a depression doing the bare minimums on self-care and chores and feeling constantly overwhelmed and doom-scrolling through Tiktok.

In a perversely lucky way, this is not my first rodeo with depression or an unhealthy form of disassociation. Over many years I have wrestled with cycles of balance and imbalance in my life and spirituality. So I paid a little extra attention to some of my favorite creators when they were posting about issues in dealing with Life, Spirituality, or ADHD.  After a time, I’ve been trying to get back into a semi-regular routine of spiritual practices simply for themselves and myself and not merely as a preparation before leaving the house and dealing with Work or the Outside World.

…and here I think I will chunk some of what I am feeling the need to write about and say into a couple of other posts…

Partly because as I have been re-reading my blog and thinking about how to return to a journal of my life and practice, I have realized that my ADHD blessed brain is sometimes like a rail-road station with multiple trains of thought running through it at any one time, and because I want to start crafting my topics and thoughts on them and my writing, in a bit more focused and deliberate a manner.

Bliss, and Blessed Be,

Pax / Geoffrey