Strong opinions…

As passionate as I am about building Pagan community, it’s been more than a couple of years since I was actually active in my local community.

Part of this is the change of moving across a continent, and then persuing my schooling and working, and then trying to cobble together some species of income producing jobs.

Another part of this is that as I have been involved in my Pagan and Queer communities over the years I have had a lot of chances to experience and think about things like public events, and public rituals, and club and organizational set-ups and governing bodies, and over the years I have developed some strong opinions on these matters.

Now I know that this can be a difficult thing, where folks may disagree about the process of how to go about building a community.   I also know that I haven’t delved as deeply into the Orlando Pagan community as I could in the past.

Then too, there have been some areas where my experiences and opinions have conflicted with what is going on in my local community have led me to pull back from IRL involvement (in real life for those not up on the net-speak) here in Orlando.  I want to change this, but I am not sure how to involve myself in my local community.  The venues I’ve tried don’t seem like a good fit…  I know, I know,

“so try some other venues/groups/events, Pax!”

I am going to be working on that.  I am also re-evaluating whether I want to try again with one of the local groups I’ve looked into.

I am also going to be blogging about some of my strong opinions…

Trying to open to creativity…

So the 27th was my 37th Birthday.  Go me!

Anyhow, I had arranged to take a three-day week-end from my two jobs with the intention of reveling in some me time.  One of the things I have/had/hope to do, before this week-end is over is to get some substantial writing done on my new column in Thorn.

I am discovering though that trying to say something resonant and meaningful is a lot tougher when you are trying to do in months in advance!

There have also been several times where I have tried to sit down to work on my Fantasy novel/world stuff for my collaboration with my dear friend Incubus, and my Aphrodite novel project, and any number of articles and I just feel kind of flat-lined… creatively speaking.

I suspect part of this is a lack of discipline on my part, and my old, old, friend… fear of failure.  Time was I would let FoF stop me from doing things, I would let myself be miserable rather than trying to do stuff that fed my spirit becuse I was more afraid of even a small failure than I was of stagnation…

It’s rather like being less afraid of drowning than of looking silly clinging to the life-preserver!

of course now I am feeling a little less creatively blocked… maybe I just need to commit to a daily free-writing here…

Peace,

Pax

By Their Funny Names Shall Ye Know Them!!!

So in the comments section of a recent Wild Hunt post we have seen the resurrection of one of the great and ongoing debates within the Pagan movement…. Our Chosen Names.

Background

The practice of choosing a special name for oneself upon embarking on the Pagan path is the heir of several cultural streams.  Christianity, and Islam, both have some precedents for choosing a different name upon formalizing ones commitment to them (or having ones commitment formalized by ones parents in childhood).

Within Witchcraft we have the tradition of choosing a Witch name for use (in some Trads ONLY) in the Circle.    Ceremonial Magick and the Western Mystery Traditions have also used the practice of in-group names, with varying degrees of success.

Then too within the emerging Pagans of the 1960’s counter-culture the use of nick-names with a certain flair was nearly a requirement.  (Check out some of Ronald Hutton’s work such as Triumph of the Moon or his lecture about the Horned God from an OBOD gathering for some interesting information to the effect that No, Paganism wasn’t suddenly reborn in the 1960’s…thats just our spiritual ‘baby boom’ … you may also want to check out the Pagan History website while you’re at it…_

Choosing The Name

The choice and use of an alternate name is both Spiritual and, according to a number of older texts, for reasons of Anonymity.  Spiritual in that (among other things) this special name a trigger to our senses that something special is occurring and also serves as a direct way of identifying ones inner essence to the Universe or the Gods or what have you.   Anonymity in that, as the old Witch saying goes…

“Witchcraft doesn’t pay for broken windows!”

Now within different streams of Paganism and Occultism there seems to be a variety of traditions and variations on traditions for choosing one’s name.  I will deal with Neo-Pagan and Witchcraft related traditions as I really cannot comment on the naming practices within Cermonial Magick and the Western Mystery Schools.  I will also be using some of my own names as an example….

One pagan gal I know chose Phoenix as her Pagan name (or part of it) because of a life-long fear of fire and her desire to face that fear, embrace it, and conquer it.  My friend Mama Rhaevyn, acutally originally chose “Lady Rhaevyn” with the Lady being not a liturgical title but a reminder to her of the importance of manners and ethics and of being a Lady and striving to the best person she could be for her God and Goddess.

Some folks who have already found their power animal or totem or spirit guide or what have you will go with that as a part of their Pagan name.  Others will be inspired by names and figures from the past, thus the plethora of “Merlins” and “Morgaines”… although why more of those so-named don’t get into more scuffles I don’t know!

Then you have folks who are inspired by folk-lore, and herb/plant lore, and the stories of the Gods and of Their cultures.   Folks will look to these sources for names and words and ideas that resonate with their souls on that same deep level where we first feel Spirit or The Divine.

(or at least that’s the idea… more on this later…)

Then you have folks like me.  When I first started this journey of mine onto the Witches path I was overwhelmed with choices and possibilities.  Then, somewhere, I found a referance to the idea of choosing a name reflective of the qualities you either posess, or desire.  That resonated strongly with me, it felt right on that deep level where the Goddess and God and Witchcraft and. well, all of this stuff felt right.

So I chose my first name of “Pax et Fort”, ‘Peace and Strength”, which were a large part of what I was seeking as I embarked upon my journey into Witchcraft and Paganism.  Over the years I have added too, and edited, my Witchname… at least with the Gods….all of the personal growth and life lessons I have been blessed** with have changed me on my innermost spiritual levels; for me this seemd the right way to go.   Other folks believe that the chosen name is one that reflects your innermost soul or self and its full potential and so it does not change except in the most extraordinary of circumstances, if at all.

**(Please note: They didn’t always feel like blessings at the time!)

Now I am generally known as Pax or Geoffrey in the Circle and out depending on context… and for now I’m fine with that.  I have one or two possibilities should I be priveledged to innitiate with a Coven with its own naming practices but for now in the Community and in Circle I remain Pax.

Using the Name

This is where a lot of the discussions, debates, and diatribes begin…

The general pattern seems to follow one of two paths, Either folks find a Pagan/Witch name and use them inRitual and in their local Pagan communities.  Or, folks will have a Ritual (mainly a Circle as this seems to be within Witchcraft) name, and a Pagan use name for use in the Pagan community, and then of course there’s ones given name; unless of course you’ve legally changed your name to (one of) your Pagan ones.

The troubles start with members of the Pagan movement interracting with members of our larger communities, especially the press and the government.

Folks don’t always seem to have a sense of the appropriate anymore, and any effort to point out that legally changing ones name to “Goldmoon Leaf Treevixen” or “Albion Uther Oaken Greymantle Otherkin” might make parts of the larger society have trouble taking you seriously.   Sadly suggestions of this nature often gets one accused of being mean, or intollerant, or a closet Christian (this last one usually hissed by some Lady Crystalmoon Bunniethighs who just got done ranting about how much more tollerant we pagans are…), or all manner of other accusatory angst-muffinry on the part of those you are trying to advise.

Names have power folks, but they also have a context.  Names are a part of how we interact with the larger Universe and the world around us, knowing what to call yourself and when is an important part of being an adult.   If, for example, you have the nick-name “Doobie” or “Keg-man” you are simply NOT going to want to mention it, or have it mentioned, at a traffic stop.

Words and names have power and are among  the most basic tools of some of the most powerful magic!

Context is always important in communications, there are folks in the Pagan community who know that if I am outside of a Pagan context I may very well not answer to “Pax”, because I am not listening for it in that context.

When I decided to be out of the ‘broom’ closet (if you’re Heathen is it a Hammer closet?!  What about the Hellenismos and Celts?!) I just started signing pieces with both my names.   Partly, because it’s important to be open and honest in our communications, and partly because “Pax” is fairly tame compared to “Lord Mountebatten AutumnWolf von Gardner”… and by associating Geoffrey with Pax I wasn’t in a position to do either of them harm

Conlcusions?

Well I really don’t have a satisfactory one… this is one of those aspects of Paganism where each of us must make our own decisions, hopefully being a bit more conscious of how our words and choices and actions affect and interact this folks around us and our own lives.

I would also direct you to the continuing conversation at The Wild Hunt

Peace,

Pax and Geoffrey

~~~UPDATE~~~
Not to be missed!

Lady Pixie Moondrip’s Guide to Craft Names

The Naming of Pagans

Libations and Tasting for Dionysus

So I was doing a little early morning grocery shopping today when I felt a pull towards the Wine aisle…

I had been promising myself, and informally Dionysus, that I would buy and offer some wine when I had the money to spare… I had (for a brief moment) money to spare so I opened up to the Numinous and wandered the Wines aisle looking at various labels and types… trying not to worry about the price until I was to be confronted with it…

wine31_-_12_26_2008_-_5752175_12-31-08_e3_qrccbvu1

Thankfully I found an ideal wine that was reasonably priced.  Dancing Bull Chardonnay ’07.  The name, and the logo caught my eye immediately, and I was relieved to find it a reasonably priced gift from the God at $9.99.

I rushed home and as time allowed in the afternoon I set up my altar.  I had decided to combine an offering with my resolve to build and maintain my wine tasting skills and hard won knowledge of wines.  What better way to honor Dionysus than to savor and appreciate the fruit of his vines?

I had saved some of the wine-tasting sheets from my Wines classes and prceded to set up an altar for this impromptu celebration.  I cleared my bedside table and set up a Tasting Altar beside my permanent Altar.  I had blessed water both in the Chalice for West and Water and in a separate cup for cleansing the palate and perhaps for making a double libation… at a certain point I tend to go with the ritual flow…

Everything was ready and I was set to begin when I realized I hadn’t consecrated the little metal bowl for the Libation to be poured into.  I picked it up in my hands and brought it close to my mouth…p10100941

“I bless you and consecrate you, oh creature of metal that I might work wonders and ritual in honor of and in the name of the Gods, Blessed Be!” I said as I tapped the side of the bowl, letting forth a ringing bell-like tone.

I paused a moment to gather myself together.  Then, kneeling on a pillow before the altar, I raised up my arms and hands in the Oren’s position as I read one of the Orphic Hymns to Dionysus…

“Dionysus I call,Loud-Sounding and Divine, Fanatic God, A two-fold shape is Thine, Thy various names and attributes I sing,

O, First-born, Thrice-begotten, Bacchic King: Rural, Ineffable, Two-Formed, ObscureTwo-horned, With Ivy Crowned, Euion,

Pure,

Bull-Faced, and Martial, Bearer of the Vine,

Endued with Counsel Prudent and Divine:

Triennial, Whom The Leaves of Vines Adorn,

Of Zeus and Pershephoneia Occultly Born.

Immortal Spirit, Hear My Suppliant Voice.

Give me in blameless plenty to rejoice:

And listen gracious to my mystic prayer,

Surrounded with thy choir of nurses fair.”

I then said a few personal words of greeting and thanks and offering to Him.

I poured the Libation unto Him, and then poured myself a glass…

Date: 3/23/2009

Wine: Dancing Bull Chardonnay

Vintage: 07

Price: $9.99+tax (yours may vary)

Color: A pale to medium White wine with a yellow/gold color to it and great clarity.

Aroma: Aromatic and perfume like with strong elements of Pear and fruit blossoms (that slightly powdery flower scent?) and Golden Raisin.

Taste: Somewhere between sweet and slightly dry there was just a little bit of acidity in the syrupy texture and fruity taste.   I noted, again, Pear and an overall Syrupy texture and taste, hints of fresh green grass and a hint of a coppery taste.

Pairing:  Any simple Chicken dish (where chicken and herbs are predominant… you’d want to be careful with the bbq sauce… a very sweet fruity one if any)  Sea food, especially any white fish.  I could also see this paired with a fresh pastry or bread of some time as an appetizer or brunch item… Croissants perhaps?

~~~~~~~~

I am feeling a little Dionysian inspiration to work on something about Wines and Wine tasting and put the Virtues article on the back burner… will have to meditate on that.

Peace,

Pax

Here’s a close up of the Tasting Altar…p1010095

A Subtropical Ostara

Hello my dear Pagans!

So once again the Wheel of the year has turned and Spring, officially, has Sprung.  The major sign of this turning here in Central Florida has been the Citrus Pollen, which has inundated us for days, is soon to be joined with the Live Oak Pollen.

(Can Live oaks get Mistltoe?!  I’ll post a picture of it soon but we have some species of Bromelliad growing in the branches of one of our Liveoaks… lightish green rounded tipped leaves, whitish berry?!)

Anyway I am once more trying to unscrew the inscrutableness of what the Wheel of the Year means to me in an environment where Citrus Harvest is in December and a nearby down’s Strawberry Festival has come and gone in February and early March.!

Personally, and for no particularly well documented reason, I tend to think of Ostara as the Children’s Festival.  Fertility and Birth seem wrapped up in the colored Eggs and Hares and Chicks (baby birds, not Hippie Girls ~ although Hippie Girls are cool too… Fundamentalist comic book publishers are, however a little lower on my list!)

Just as Imbolc celebrates new things and beginings and creativity, So too does Ostara continue those themes and interweave them with the exuberance of Childhood.  (And for most of my lifetime, back in Alaska, the first real signs of Spring… as opposed to the return of the light)

It suddenly occurrs to me that one of the things I have always seen within the Wheel is a symbolic progression through various stages and points of our lives… perhaps that shall prove a usefull hook in writing about the Sabbats and the Seasons… hrmm…

Anyway my dear ones… I am off to surf the Pagan Internet for a bit looking for crafty, culinary, and creative ways of honoring this holiday.

Peace,

Pax

Perspective and Ruminations

Hello Friends, Witches, and Pagani!

So this new found awareness of the numinous presence of the Divine is still with or upon me.  While I am not one to be ungrateful for the blessings I am given by the universe, and I am seeking after a deeper understanding  of these things… there is a part of me that kind of wishes I could have some more mundane blessings…

Job advancement, a promotion or pay raise or something that moves me from the barely above minimum wage work I have done for my entire adult life so far…and towards the sort of management jobs I recently went several thousands of dollars into debt to learn more about.

On the other hand I have achieved the dream of writing professionally, I can achieve my dreams.

Then too, there is the fact that the me of a few years ago would have been too consumed with self doubt and pity about the work stuff to really notice or appreciate this strange new awareness of the everyday holiness of the world around him.  He would have been consumed with self pity, fear, and doubt, and drowning in them would have found ways to run away from his pain and his fear and dulled his senses so he didn’t have to face such things.

As much as I have learned to love myself, and as much as I understand the how and why of who I was (or how I behaved) even a few short years ago… in some ways I am glad I am no longer quite the same person that I was.  Or, to put it better, I am glad the person that I am (and that I can be)  is not allowing himself to be trapped in the same patterns and fear and foolishness that so weighed down the man that I was.

I am blessed by the Gods with a loving partner and good friends and the knowledge that I can achieve my dreams if I let myself face the fear of failing to try.  I have recently dug out all of my start-your-own-business books that I had bought in the year or two before meeting The Big Guy and going to school for Hospitality and Restaurant Management.  I’ve been puttering around the boxes in the garage and looking for my old Coffee House notebook…

I am trying to also spend some time each day writing… but I am having trouble getting my momentum started on that one… I think I need to try sitting in meditation for a while before I try writing… sitting in quiet and quieting my mind … stillness before the flow of creativity.

Just as every atom and cell of creating is alive with the touch of the Divine, the Divine is within us; we can learn a lot about ourselves by seeing what reflections we see in the mirrors of our contemplation on the Universe and the Divine.

Ruminate on that my dears!

Peace, and Love,

Pax

The Numinous

I am rather exhausted as of late.   Working full time-ish again, and working retail again, as I work two jobs in the hopes of their equaling one full time job until such time as my writing serves to pay the bills and let me flout the occasional traffic authority… well it’s a lot of work and a lot more work than I’ve done in a while.

Yet I soldier on, in spite of flattening feet and pain in my ankles so bad I sometimes can barely walk (April some insurance kicks in and so I will be visiting a doctor about this)), despite being so tired sometimes… still I soldier on.

Spiritually too I keep to my prayers and am adding a few shielding and visualization techniques to keep to my spiritual ballance and keep myself sane and whole… and sometimes Magick happens.

Over the course of the day I was aware of a deeply seated good feeling within my spirit today… more than a good mood or positive attitude… as I drove home, finally having some time off the retail stage to think of my interactions that day I realized that the colors were a little brighter and the shapes a little more vivid….

I thought to myself of the numinous presence of the Goddess and God present within myself and every one I had interacted with today.  Their eyes shone out to me from every face I interacted with today.  Every cell of my body and every atom of The Universe danced, vibrated, and sang in tune to Their Song.

It is one thing to believe, to think, to know this on an intellectual level and acknowledge its simple logic and truth, but it is another to actively experience it in an ongoing way.   I’ve had touches, moments in ritual or brief moments on nature hikes or camping trips, over the years but this sense of an ongoing illumination from their presence… this is delightful yet foreign territory for me

I don’t know if this awareness will continue or if it will waver in or out, or if I will wake up tomorrow and have no more sense of the celestial than before.  I am writing of this in order to remember and to recall.

It’s strange to feel as if I have passed, all unknowingly, through some sort of veil into the realm of the Mysteries.  The Gods are at once a part of the keyboard I type upon and the air I breathe, The mysteries move through my veins and through the rivers of the world and in the deepest oceanic currents.  Everything and everyone is sacred and beautiful and divine and words are so failing me right now!

I want to speak with an eloquence about the same divine pulse that is the drip, drip, drip of the melting icicle in the middle of the Northern forests being the same sush, sush, sush of the warm Gulf waters against the sandy shore, being the same as the wise whispering rustle of the wind through the leaves of the live oak trees.

I feel as if I should be flying off to a Witches Sabbat to sing or feast or dance with my sister and brother witches as we sing songs of the ancient ways in the modern days.

All these thoughts are interspersed with the sobering knowledge of my own dreadful lack of language and knowledge of these deep and strong currents of power and wisdom and intuition and knowledge… luckily however the choice of the word numinous in my out-loud-thinking on the way home lead me to a deffinition of the word and to some ideas for further readings and explorations.

Bliss, and Blessed Be, my dear Pagans,

Pax

Civic Holidays and Pagan Rituals

“We need to start looking at celebrating open and public rituals and observances at CIVIC holidays, not only to show our lager communities who and what Pagans are and are about; but to also deepen and expand ourselves as Pagans and our relationships with the spirits of our ancestors and of our Nations, and of the World around us; and to further build and strengthen our communities!” Pax ~ from a previous rant...

So my strong feeling that we Pagans need to start finding ways of honoring/celebrating some of the civic holidays in our own ways has been influenced by many inspirations.

First off is just the “why not us?”, impulse I have been known to experience when comparing my own experiences as a Pagan with what I can observe of other religious groups and communities.  Other faiths have service on, say 4th of July (U.S. Independence Day) or Veteran’s Day or Memorial Day or President’s Day… why not us?  Then too there is my observation that socials can only do so much to build a community, you need multiple types of events engaging differing segments of your local Pagans to build a strong and healthy Pagan community.

It also has long occurred to me that some of the folks eager to spread all sorts of misinformation and outright lies about Pagans would look pretty foolish doing so when the average Joe or Jane on-the-street had just seen the Pagans pouring a libation to the honored dead on Memorial Day…. or having a potluck celebration on the park strip to honor their communities Veteran’s on Veteran’s Day.

I am also inspired in these thoughts by the Pagan Religious Rights Rally and Ritual on July 4th of 2007 in Washington D.C. , which occurred during the height of the Veteran’s Pentacle fight… (does anyone know if the efforts to add the Hammer and the Awen to the list of symbols is going well?!)… their ritual, archived here,blends both Heathen and Witchcraft ritual to honor and invoke the spirits of the U.S. Founding Father’s (and another U.. President)  in the cause of supporting Freedom of Religion.

Then too, I am inspired and intrigued by the Religio Americana, both a yahoogroup, and a Pagan way of honoring the Ancestors, Heroes, and Gods of  the U.S. historical and cultural landscape. The Founding Fathers, and Mothers… Jefferson, Adams, Franklin, Susan B. Anthony, Sojourner Truth, and the many men and women who have given their service and sometimes their lives to protect and defend and preserve our nation.  Liberty, Uncle Sam, Collumbia, these are a few of the Gods and Spirits of our U.S. landscape… worth investigating if you have never done so!

It is not just about building community, or about demonstrating to our neighbors  that we Pagans are good decent folk concerned (in our own ways) with some of the same things they are, it is also about engaging our culture and history and the world around us through the lens of our Paganism in a more open and direct manner.

As a Witch, I strive to find balance in my relationships with the Lord and Lady, and other Gods, and Elements and Spirits of the world around me, and with the spirits of the Ancestors.  What is my relationship with the heroe’s of Valley Forge, or of Bull Run, or Normandy?  How do I relate to those who fought at Little Big Horn?  How do I, as a Witch and Pagan, honor the memories and efforts and sacrifices of the Founding Fathers and Mother’s, and those Heroes of our history who have worked to bring about the more perfect Union of my Nations ideals?

Witchcraft is not the only form of Paganism or Neo-Paganism that is going to wrestle with these questions as we go together through the next century.

So my dear Pagani, let us light incense to the Guardian spirits of our U.S. President (even the ones we disagree with politically, especially them), and to offer prayers of guidance and guardianship to the Gods on their behalf.

Let us raise toasts, and pour libations, to the Founder’s and Hero’s of our Nation as we celebrate our Independence.

On veteran’s day let us hold sacred feasts with places at the table for the Gods and for our veteran’s, both the living and the fallen.

Let us find, our ways, to let Freedom ring.

Peace,

Pax

PS- I think the basic ideas of this article can hold true for Pagans of any nation, I just happen to be of the U.S.A and so couch my thoughts in terms of my Mother country.  Hail Collumbia!

A few thoughts before working on todays post…

IT is a delightfully overcast Florida morning… strange to read and think that but having grown up in Alaska the ongoing sunshine of Florida can seem almost oppressive at times!

I like the occasional cloudy day, and the daily Summer rainstorms; which hopefully we will have more of this Summer.  Last year was awfully dry… we need some good drenchers to keep the fire danger down and to feed the thirsty land.

The big, big, bedroom window faces almost due East, so an overcast or cloudy morning is a nice way to start the day.  The Sun is burning his way through the clouds as I write this.   I think I shall refill my coffee cup, read some of Ruby Sara’s musings at Wind and Honey and then revel in the creativity of some writing!

One Witches Work/Life Ballance

It’s strange how ingrained habits can be…

When the second part-time job started I went right into work-sleep-work-some-more mode… I remembered my daily prayers, but even in my days off earlier this week I was kind of in a mental daze….

Even yestarday, I tried to sit down and write, for an hour, on the rough topic of this collaborative Fantasy genre world my dear friend Nathan and I are developing… couldn’t work up the oomph to write my many ideas out.  Today, of course, when I don’t have the time… I feel like writing up a storm!

I think I need to throw down some tarot cards tonight and see what nudgings the Universe may have for me.  I will also be trying to get in some meditation time.  I am realizing I need a lot more concentrated stillness in my head and heart to deal with the madness and motion of my worklife.

I’ve been working on ways to integrate more cues and reminders and inspirations into my daily life and habits to keep me more firmly on Path than in that past.  (as mentioned previously)   Having an altar helps as it just forces me to think about the spiritual side of things.

(I know, I’ve already written about this, but if I keep writing it here eventually I shall be motivated and reminded to do so.)

I also need to get to a bookstore and find some more fun fantasy or sci-fi or mysteries or non-fiction or SOMETHING NEW (or at least new to me) to read!!

Look for a post on celebrating Civic holidays as a Pagan sometime Monday.

What I did on the Full Moon 1/11 & 12/2009

Hey there folks!!

So After an exhausting day of work I sat in a hot, HOT, bath and debated passing out and working my Witchy duties to the Lady and Lord out on the morrow.  But I heard a neighbor’s cat yowling, I think she’s in heat, and was reminded that I also needed to water Tiger’s Hibiscus, and offer to my Beloved and Honored Dead and my Ancestors, Named and Unknown.

So I craweld out of the tub, litterally… flat feet and bad posture can be a brutal combination, and hobbled into the kitchen.  I filled my large soup pot with filtered water and headed out into the back yard.

I called out to the Goddess and God, to my Dead and Ancestors, and to the Spirits and Guardian Spirits of my home; then I poured libations for each group.

No light shows or woo-woo or great gnostic revalations ensued, but I felt better and so now I am puttering on the computer.
Peace,

Pax

A Witch at rest…

So today was one of the first real days off I’ve had in over a week… new job and old job and a bunch of running around on the theoretical day off I had on Friday…

I did a little bit of writing on the new definitions page… but otherwise I think I mastered a serene and contemplative meditative (or possibly vegetative) state.  Relaxation and slack were the order of the day!

I am feeling a little blocked mentally… like I need something to clear out the cobwebs but I am not sure what that something is/  Although as I write this I am feeling a little less muzzy headed, so perhaps I just needed to sit down and start some free-writing and summon, stir, and call forth my own creative energies.  Creativity is both an art and a discipline… as is meditation, and I need to apply some discipline to both my creative and meditative practices!

I toyed with meditating today…. but again lethargy won out.  I did however take a brief but pleasant nap, so as to be ready for the Monday night wing night excursion.  Seriously though I need to commit to more regular meditative and creative practices.  (Note to self: DO IT!!)

Speaking of creativity, in another week or two when the big juicy first paycheck from the new job comes in I think I shall buy some baking ingredients and bake a couple of the recipes from the ginormous Baking book I bought during my running around looking for the Witches date book last Friday.  (I failed to find it, but found a suitable organizer and am customizing it to my needs)

The baking book is one of those gloriously large coffee-table cook books with reasonably simple recipes one per page with accompanying glorious and sexy photographs of some of the steps and the finished product.  I have taken to pouring over it at odd moments during the day and referring to in conversationally as my culinary porn.

That this terminology, and my habit of reading it aloud like I was narrating a passage of erotic poetry, vexes The Big Guy to no end is only icing on the cupcake.

It was originally written for Great Britain, and only the measurements have been changed to Imperial/U.S. measurements, so it refers to cookies as biscuits and quickbreads as teabreads and golden raisins are sultana’s … is their anything linguisticly sexier than the word sulatana?!?

Back to slacking…

I even tried mustering up the energy or courage to go for a quick dip in the pool… the daytime temps are hitting the upper 70’s and low 80’s this week… but the pool is only up to 66*F… which is a little much for me these days… I am holding out for 68… silly I know given that I probably hapilly swam ing 50* water in my youth in Alaska… but 68 degrees is my boundary for swimabillity.

I tried standing at the edge of the pool and psyching myself up, but I settled for sitting and dipping my feet in the way beyond brisk pool water.

I had been gearing up to go visit a friend of mine North of Orlando, but have to straighten out some confusion with my insurance status and my eligability for a vehicle registration here in Florida so things are up in the air for tommorrow right now.

Even though I have been recovering from an exhausting week or so today, it feels wonderful to be busy again!   I was able to find a personal organizer that had the moon phases and some inspirational weekly quotes and am going to do some customizing of the special days in the notes sections.

Peace,

Pax