So I am sitting here in my new apartment, my nascent Witchy man cave puttering with the internet and flirting with guys and surfing the steampunk sites and otherwise chillaxing… when I decided to be Witchy… I went into my altar and began shuffling the Tarot cards… not really intending a reading, simply getting back in touch with them…

Part of this has been inspired by my recent spell calling good things and blessings and friends to me, which has brought a number of fun geeky gay bearish kinky Pagan type guys into my life lately… including this one guy… who if I had met him at any other point in my single existance OTHER than a couple of months after being broken up with by my Partner of 4 years… I might have eagerly and happilly thrown myslef into a delightful relationship with…

We talk all the time, share scads of the same interests, we make one another laugh, and we are both at starting points in new careers and lives and have agreed to date (non-exclusively for now) and take things slow…. except that all sorts of our conversations somehow end up with us talking about future plans for us?!

This has me a little nervy, given everything… and then the Universe decided to give me a wedgy…

As I was shuffling a card popped out of the deck looking all innocent and face down at my feet as I sat holding the cards cross-legged on the floor. (note to self, get a chair and desk….)   It was The Lovers…

!?The Lovers?!

I am shuffling my Tarot cards for the first time in many months and the first card to foist itself upon me is The Lovers!  THE LOVERS!!!  ….AIIEEE!!!!….

I had a brief but spectacular panic, and then settled down to read some more cards… the basic message was to not let this relationship distract me from my career and personal goals, and for me to be careful with my money, and that this relationship could bring a great deal of happiness provided I/we put the right effort into it and that we were both bringing the best of ourselves to the table.

(my interpretation anyway, and my cards and no I shan’t be sharing the exact cards thank you…. somethings, are gifts of the Gods…)

However you believe the Tarot works, when you apply yourself to it there is a lot of wisdom and common sense available through them!

But as I said, the Universe has a sense of humor, you have been warned.

Peace,

Pax

So some weeks ago in the after-math of the break-up and before the changes in living quarters and job that have happened recently, I went out onto the back patio one night when The Ex and the Roommates were out.
I burned some Frankincense and Myrrh in offerings to the Holy Powers, the Theoi, and the Lady and Lord of Witchcraft.

Then I took some ground Roses, Rosemary, and Passion Flower, and burned them on the charcoal, drawing the burner in a Widdershins Circle around me pulling, winding inward, drawing towards me from the Four Corners of The World things I needed…. Health, Friendship, Prosperity, Safety… among other things,…. I did NOT say Love, but it was undoubtedly on my mind…..

and now I find the Universe has been throwing new people and opportunities at me…. I am trying to ride the waves of change my magick has wrought.

I am renting a new room, and dating a very nice guy, and although we have both said we need to both be focusing on our new jobs and take things slow… we were at the “You can call me flower if you want to….” stage of twitterpation within the first 30 minutes or so of the first date…

I am trying to re-establish a discipline of regular writing and daily practice, and will be on here more often that of late.

Peace,

Pax

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(addendum 6/20/2010) The ingredients burned actually included Cinnamon, Frankincense, Myrrh, Passion Flower, Rosemary, and Roses.

If you are also interested in Standing On The Side Of Love, you can find specific petition and media links here!

Peace and Aphrodite’s blessings unto you all!

Pax

So in the aftermath of the break-up of my Partnership with The Big Guy, I’ve been kind of on an emotional and spiritual auto-pilot.  Saying my prayers daily, and even doing  a little magical stuff as I left the old house…. calling back the energies I had put into blessing the place…. I guess I believe that any magic we do we are always tied too… hrm need to ponder that….

Anyhow, I had unpacked and set up a relatively discreet altar in my new room, ( I have decided, for the time being, that discression is the better part of virtue regarding my religion for the time being as it relates to roommates and a new job) and before going to work today I prayed my daily prayer at it.   Lately I had been adding some short prayers to the Theoi and Netjeru of Neos Alexandria, and some especial prayers to Dionysus and Hecate to the mix… but today I simply prayed my daily prayer to the Lady and Lord of Witchcraft…

“Mother Celestial and Father Divine,

Let me walk (and drive) in Beauty and Strength,

Exhibiting Power and Compassion,

With Honor and Humility,

And let me always remember Mirth as well as Reverence,

That I may be worthy of Thy Perfect Love and Perfect Trust,

And that of those in whose hearts you dwell.

Blessed Be, So Mote It Be.”

Later, when I got to work I had some time before clocking on and was feeling the need for some sort of boost so I began to breathe deeply and calm and center myself.  I returned to the meditation of the image of the Horned God superimposed over my own form from years before, and feeling myself connect to Him and to the Worlds around me.

I began to breathe into and from my energy centers, my chakras… finding feelings of helplessness and insecurity and self pity and paranoia and sadness and grief.  Only this time, instead of trying to some how cleanse them or push them away…

I simply acknowledged them accepting them as a part of me, they were there for reasons and I should neither dwell too much upon them or in them nor should I ignore them or run away from them, and then I focused on the breathe and on opening and opening too the relevant chakra…

Once I achieved the violet and the the white chakras,. at and above the crown,  my cell phone rang…

It was my Dad, the neo-Luddite whose slightly hermit like tendancies and increasing memory issues make call FROM him a rarity, although we talk regularly.  We talked for a bit, and I felt somehow as if it was a sign from The God that I had friends and family and love and support.

~~~

I am settling into the new place, a rented room in a townhouse in a good location in the Orlando Metroplex.  I am starting a new job, and begining to figure out my new life, here in The City Beautiful.

Peace,

Pax

A post on Neos Alexandria’s list has reminded me that I need to find a way to pour libations to and make some sort of offering to the Hero’s and Honored Dead today… the logistics of this and being semi-closeted will be tricky, but not I think beyond me.

“I give Greetings and Praise to the Spirits and Memories of those whose lives were grievously taken from them.

I give Praises and Honors to those who risked their lives, and who gave their lives, for others to fight fires, to seek survivors, to protect the innocent.

I give Praises and Honors to those who continue to serve and protect our Nation and its People.

May you ALL find Peace and Hapiness in the Halls of Honor

Blessed Be, So Mote It Be.”

Or so I am begining to think…

I am writing this from a room for rent in an townhouse apartment here in Orlando, Fl.  I am trying to start getting things back into some semblance of structure and order in my life after roughly a month of free-flowing and a bit of free-fall after the formal end of my relationship with The Big Guy.  (my ex’s nickname for those new to this little soapbox of mine…)

Lots of interesting stuff going on in the online Pagan world, Jason over at the Wild Hunt has created a new  organization called the Pagan Newswire Collective.

Some discussions on Pagan Community Builders have focused lately on new media and social networking in community building.

And I am trying to get back into the swing of things… still feel kind of like the fight has been taken out of me for a bit… I’ve GOT to write an article for the next issue of Thorn.

I am still here, and still writing, and still praying… praying is about all I’ve been able to muster.  I did as a part of my moving out process, and as I look back on it a fairly petty maneuver, call back the energies I had expended on blessing the old house, and those living there.  Things got a bit petty and nasty near the end…  I said some snarky things and some games were played with me, but thats in the past and I am choosing to let it remain there.

The title of this comes from the recently realized fact that I’ve made major job changes in my life  on or near the September Equinox (Autumnal in the north/ Vernal in the South) .  I moved to Orlando 4 years ago just after the Equinox to start a life with my Partner, and now am moving back into Orlando to start a life of my own…

More later folks,

Bright Blessings,

Pax

PS- dear friends I haven’t called, many of you are mad busy right now, as am I.  I am also in the process of getting a new phone, as soon as things on that front are situated the flow of conversation will resume/increase!