Day 13 of ? of meditation & blogging!

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Friends,

Today has been another day that challenged me in my ongoing meditation streak.

I learned yesterday that the Sleep Clinic had my CPAP machine and mask ready for pick up, and they are open overnights until around 8am or so. I already had a 9-something am appointment with my regular doctor, so I set an alarm for 5:30am and tried and failed to go to bed. I ended up with roughly 4 hours of sleep, does that really count as a sleep or a nap? At this stage I am not sure… Anyhow, with the vigorous application of a vitamin/energy drink and some Iced Coffee, I was able to make the 7am appointment at the Sleep Clinic, and get in early for my 9-something am doctors appointment. Back home and (after setting up my CPAP in a temporary set up by my bed) down I sat for some mindfulness!

Breath was followed and breathing was regular. Thoughts popped up and were shooed away with relative ease. It felt as if time was crawling even though my alarm chirped sooner than I somehow expected it to? I feel… more awake at least? Some level of actual peace is there, but quite honestly what I am feeling mostly right now is ridiculously tired! My plan is to put on my mask and lay down and nap for as long as my body and brain decide I need to. I will likely check in again later today unless I sleep an extraordinarily long time and wake up in the morning tomorrow. While I do not think I actually need THAT much sleep in this exact moment I would not necessarily object to that outcome.

Returning our attention to today’s meditation for a moment… Even though I did not really feel much in the way of dwelling within a place of Inner Peace ™, I am not that vexed about it! Sometimes one does not. With meditation practices there are times where the minutes are ticking my and we’ve had a good sit down for a few minutes of deep regular breathing. It is important to understand and acknowledge that. It is not a failing or a mistake or an inability on our part. Meditation is referred to as a ‘practice’, in part because it’s something we need to work at repeatedly in order to grow better at it, like any art. It is a building of muscles of mind and spirit in the same way that any form of regular exercise can build the body and increase ones physical health. Yet just as in physical exercise this building of mind and spirit take both time and repetition to see real and lasting benefits.

So if you will excuse me, I am going to go pass out for a time and then return later and try again and again and again! If you feel moved to share in the comments below I enjoy hearing the comments, questions, and experiences of others…

Bliss & Blessed Be,
Pax / Geoffrey